THE FUNNY FROM MORNING SEDITION AND THE MARC MARON SHOW

The follwing bits come courtey of Joseph D.

Al-Qaeda News

(Mike Ferrucci & Barry Lank)

September 30, 2005

Debut Broadcast—They Speak Out Against the Castrating Witch Lindi England

October 12, 2005

CIA Leak Scooter Libby is Al-Qaeda’s Feel-Good Story of the Week, Reports on the [Upcoming] London Bombing, and a Few Minutes with Osama Bin Rooney

November 2, 2005

All U.S. Leaders are Criminals, Ester-J, and…Harriet Miers is a Woman?

December 14, 2005

A Special Holiday Edition, with Holiday Packing Tips and Blow Me Up Elmo

April 27, 2006

The United States, Iran and Israel are in a Nuclear Standoff

May 26, 2006

A Guest Appearance by Osama Bin Laden

June 12, 2006

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi Has Been Killed…is That Good News or Bad News?

June 22, 2006

Mohammed and Mahmoud React to Reports of Al-Qaeda’s Plans to Release Poison Gas in the NYC Subway System; They Look Back Fondly on Their Time in a New York Terrorist Cell

July 14, 2006

The Al-Qaeda News Hollywood Minute

Angus McFarquhar

(Kent Jones)

September 20, 2005

Reporting Live from Glasgow, Angus Makes His Debut While Responding to a UN Report That Named Scotland as the Most Violent Country in the World, but Fails to Diffuse the Stereotype

September 30, 2005

Reporting Live from Tehran, Angus Covers the Protests Against the European Union’s Decision to Try to Send Iran’s Nuclear Case to the UN’s Security Council, and Gets Into a Brawl with a Nancy Protestor

October 4, 2005

Reporting Live from Luxembourg, Angus Interviews the European Union Ambassador to Austria About His Nation’s Reluctance to Extend EU Membership to Turkey…with His Fists

October 12, 2005

Reporting Live from Kyrgyzstan, Angus Offers His Thoughts on Condoleezza Rice’s Meeting with Kyrgyz Leaders Over the Long-Term Rights to Maintain a U.S. Military Airbase, and Gets Into a Swedge with Some Wanker Cops

November 8, 2005

Reporting Live from Paris, a Gubbed Angus Discusses the Paris Riots and Gets Into a Scuffle with Some Lads Throwing Bricks

November 15, 2005

Reporting Live from Brussels, Angus Laments How, While the Paris Riots Have Spread to Belgium, the Violence Pales in Comparison to the Action in France

November 22, 2005

Reporting Live from Alexandria, Angus Discusses the Wave of Violence Between Egypt’s Authoritarian National Democratic Party and the Muslim Brotherhood Over the Paramilitary Elections

November 30, 2005

Reporting Live from Rome, a Pished Angus Decries the Lack of Violence on Behalf of the Eighty Thousand Italian Workers on Strike Who are Protesting Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s Spending Cuts in the Proposed 2006 Budget

December 13, 2005

Reporting Live from an Undisclosed Location, Angus Wishes Marc the Best in the Wake of Morning Sedition’s Cancellation

March 2, 2006

Reporting Live from Baghdad, Angus’ First Appearance on The Marc Maron Show Coincides with the Escalating Violence Between Sunni and Shitte Factions Following the Bombing of a Shiite Mosque

April 17, 2006

Reporting Live from a Jail in Kathmandu, a Beaten (and Exhilarated) Angus Recounts the Rioting Against the Nepalese Panty-Sniffing Autocrat King Gyanendra and His Anti-Democratic Actions

May 10, 2006

Reporting Live from Uttar Pradesh, a Sweltering Angus Recounts the Conflict Over India’s Union Government Shutting Off the Electricity During a Heatwave, and the Riot He’s Attending at the Gates of the Electric Company

June 1, 2006

Reporting Live from Kabul, a Furious Angus Laments Missing the Riots in Afghanistan That Stemmed from a U.S. Military Truck Crashing Into a Line of Civilian Cars

June 14, 2006

Reporting Live from Nuremberg, Angus Covers the World Cup, as Well as the Potential for Violence as All of the World Comes Together to Vent Their Barely-Disguised Hostility in Symbolic Warfare

July 11, 2006

In the Wake of The Marc Maron Show’s Cancellation, a Surprisingly Sedate Angus Calls Marc from a Camarillo, CA Rest Facility—Where He was Sentenced for a Road Rage Incident—to Say Goodbye…Again

Ask Dr. Maron

(Marc Maron)

October 8, 2007

See Brian from Everett MP3 for this date.

October 9, 2007

Ask Dr. Maron for October 9, 2007

Brendan McDonald

July 27, 2004

The “Talk About the Issues” Guy #1

August 13, 2004

The “Talk About the Issues” Guy #2

September 24, 2004

Tom Brokaw’s Interview with Iyad Allawi

September 29, 2004

Michael Dare, Insurgent Hunter

October 21, 2004

The Peanut Diaries #1—Brendan Announces That He’s Overcome His Childhood Peanut Allergy

November 18, 2004

The Peanut Diaries #2—Brendan’s Recounts His Struggle to Overcome His Peanut Allergy

November 23, 2004

The Peanut Diaries #3—Brendan’s Peanut-Related Thanksgiving

December 2, 2004

The Peanut Diaries #4—Brendan Recounts His Peanut-Related Birthday Gifts, and Trying Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

December 21, 2004

Dave the Republican and the “Wrestle a Republican” Sketch

March 10, 2005

Brendan Reports Live from Louisville, KY with President Bush’s “Screw Social Security” Tour

March 11, 2005

Brendan Reports Live from Memphis, TN with President Bush’s “Screw Social Security” Tour

April 22, 2005

John Bolton Calls Morning Sedition to Defend Himself Against the Accusations Against Him

June 23, 2005

John Bolton Leaves a Series of Messages on the Unreliable Morning Sedition Answering Machine

December 2, 2005 & December 5, 2005

Brendan McDonald Versus the Toilet Paper Dispenser

December 15, 2005

Steve Gilmartin, Part One

December 16, 2005

Steve Gilmartin, Part Two

May 30, 2008

Bruce the Libertarian

Brian from Everett

(Brian Cauldwell)

December 17, 2004

Early, Pre-Notoriety Call

May 26, 2005

Brian Tries to Help Marc with His Illness; Marc Says He Has an “Inconsistent Mental Disposition”

May 31, 2005

The Answering Machine Messages

June 1, 2005

“Inconsistent Mental Disposition” and “Al Franken, King of the Jews”

June 7, 2005

Thoughts on Pharmaceutical Companies, Modern Psychiatry, and Our Inner Jew

June 22, 2005

New Morning Sedition Theme Song

July 11, 2005

“Goin’ Down to the Pawn Shop”

July 18, 2005

“Uranus”

July 29, 2005

“It’s Go Time!”

August 8, 2005

Brian from Everett Reviews Marc’s Stand-Up Appearance That Weekend

August 9, 2005

“There’s a Funny Guy Named Maron”

August 24, 2005

“I Weep for I Have Been Most Vile”

September 15, 2005

“The Hotdogs of Freedom”

November 10, 2005

Brian Consoles Marc About His Getting Fired and Teases His Next Song

November 15, 2005

“I Forgive the Jews for Killing Jesus”

December 16, 2005

“Shine On, You Crazy Maron”

March 9, 2006

“They See You”

March 21, 2006

Brian Suffers from Writer’s Block

March 30, 2006

“Lullabye for Lucifer”

October 8, 2007

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Rachel Maddow Show—Ask Dr. Maron & the Return of Brian from Everett

April 9, 2008

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Mike Malloy Show—Marc’s Aphids Problem and Brian’s Near-Death Experience

Bruce Cherry’s Pitch of the Week

(Bruce Cherry)

July 27, 2005

Bernard the Credulous Pirate

August 4, 2005

Corky Throat, Retarded White House Insider

August 18, 2005

Shenanigans, the Clown That Has Sex with His Dog

September 8, 2005

Thylacine

September 15, 2005

Homophobic Pixies

September 22, 2005

Johnny Gay Street

September 29, 2005

Cedric the Ineffectual, King of Wessex

October 7, 2005

Sal Acious, Morning Sedition Pollster

October 14, 2005

Bacchus, God of Wine

October 20, 2005

Osama Bin Mallard

October 27, 2005

Trevor the Bonobo

November 10, 2005

Merle from Pigeonfork

November 17, 2005

Johnny Platonic, the Abstinence Machine

December 1, 2005

Patrick, the Flatulent Herring

December 8, 2005

The Ghosts of Pitch of the Week’s Past

December 15, 2005

Scoop Dogg

April 20, 2006

Nostradumbass

May 8, 2006

Yehuda Maron, Legendary Vaudeville Comic

May 26, 2006

A Return Appearance by Cedric the Ineffectual, King of Wessex

June 9, 2006

More Cedric the Ineffectual, King of Wessex

June 22, 2006

A Return Appearance by Merle from Pigeonfork

June 29, 2006

Bruce is Pissed—Someone’s Editing His Bits

July 13, 2006

Abraham Lincoln, Coincidence Theorist

December 19, 2006

A Return Appearance by Yehuda Maron, Legendary Vaudeville Comic

October 9, 2007

Bruce Cherry Promo for Marc Maron on The Rachel Maddow Show

Dead Reagan Monday

(Marc Maron, Mark Riley, and Sue Ellicott)

June 7, 2004

Dead Reagan Monday #1—Introduction to Dead Reagan Monday

Dead Reagan Monday #2—Astrology, Central America, and the Savings & Loan Scandal

Dead Reagan Monday #3—Wayne Gilman on Reagan’s Impact on the American News Media

Dead Reagan Monday #4—The Iranian Hostage Crisis, AIDS, Donald Rumsfeld, and George W. Bush

Dead Reagan Monday #5—Rick Perlstein on Reagan’s Legacy and How His Supporters are Trying to Lionize Him

Dead Reagan Monday #6—HUAC and the Hollywood Blacklist; Perfecting the Half-Truth

Dead Reagan Monday #7—Reagan’s Legacy vs. Carter’s Legacy; Destroying Affirmative Action and the PATCO Union

Dead Reagan Monday #8—Reagan’s Approval Ratings Over the Course of His Presidency

Dead Reagan Monday #9—Responding to Dead Reagan Monday’s Critics

Dead Reagan Monday #10—Housing Secretary Samuel Pierce; Jesse Jackson on the Legacy of Ronald Reagan

June 8, 2004

Dead Reagan Monday #1—Marc Answers Stupid Listener Email; Reagan’s Funeral and the Media’s Coverage

Dead Reagan Monday #2—More Discussion of Reagan’s Legacy

Dead Reagan Monday #3—James Galbraith on the Disastrous Legacy of Reaganomics

Dead Reagan Monday #4—The National Debt, How Bush and Reagan are Similar, and the AIDS Epidemic

Dead Reagan Monday #5—Ketchup as a Vegetable, the Politicization of Reagan’s Death, and George H.W. Bush’s Relationship with Him

June 9, 2004

Dead Reagan Monday #1—Frank Mankowitz on How He Initially Saw Reagan as a Communist in 1952

Dead Reagan Monday #2—The Reagan Legacy Project and What They Can Do to Honor Reagan

June 11, 2004

Dead Reagan Monday #1—The University of Alaska DJ Who was Suspended for Celebrating Reagan’s Death

Dead Reagan Monday #2—More Discussion of Reagan’s Legacy, and How Reagan Didn’t Really End the Cold War

Dead Reagan Monday #3—In the End, Morning Sedition Pauses to Honor a True American Patriot: Ray Charles

December 12, 2005

Great Moments in Morning Sedition History—Dead Reagan Monday

BONUS

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #1

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #2

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #3

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #4

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #5

Excerpts from the Diary of Ronald Reagan #6

Disturbing Environmental News

(Jim Earl & Marc Maron)

May 11, 2006

Brought to You by Tyson Foods

May 17, 2006

Brought to You by Monsanto

May 25, 2006

Brought to You by Ortho Snail and Slug Pellets

June 1, 2006

Brought to You by the American Meat Institute

June 19, 2006

Brought to You by Schlurm

July 14, 2006

Brought to You by Freeport Mining

Dream Diary

(Marc Maron & Kent Jones)

April 21, 2004

Marc’s an Enemy Combatant at Guantanamo Bay, and Then He’s a Marine Landing on Miami Beach

April 22, 2004

Marc Serves in Vietnam with John Kerry and John McCain

April 23, 2004

Marc’s a Llama at the Neverland Ranch, and Then Turns Into a Young Boy on the Run from Michael Jackson

April 26, 2004

Marc’s at a Shopping Mall, and Finds a Store Selling Natural Resources

April 27, 2004

Marc’s Playing the Harpsichord in the Royal Court of King Louis XIV…and Bush is the Sun King

April 28, 2004

Morning Sedition, with Marc and Marc and Marc

April 28, 2004

Psychologist Nando Pelusi Analyzes Marc and His Dream Diaries

April 29, 2004

Marc Testifies Before the 9/11 Commission with a Chihuahua, and Then He Eats His Forehead

April 30, 2004

Marc, Bush, and Cheney are Gold Prospectors in the Old West, and They Strike It Rich

May 3, 2004

Marc’s in the Film Mean Girls with Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld

May 4, 2004

Marc’s a Young Immigrant on Ellis Island

May 5, 2004

Marc’s a Fighter Pilot During World War II, and Bush is His Co-Pilot

May 6, 2004

Marc is a Cast Member on Friends During the Last Show, and He Desperately Tries to Free Himself

May 7, 2004

Marc is Initiated Into Yale’s Skull and Bones Secret Society

May 10, 2004

Marc is Van Helsing, and He Takes on Cheney-Frankenstein, Cheney-Dracula, and Cheney-Wolf Man

May 11, 2004

Aquatic Marc Gives a Commencement Address at a Graduation Ceremony for a School of Fish

May 12, 2004

Marc is a God of the Weather, but He Still Can Catch a Cold

May 13, 2004

Marc is in a White Room, but is Taken Into Custody by Donald Rumsfeld Disguised as a Snowman

May 14, 2004

Marc Goes to Cat Heaven to See His Late Cat; First Dream Diary Appearance of Dead Cat Butch

May 17, 2004

Marc is a Rabbi Officiating the Gay Wedding of Bush and Cheney

May 18, 2004

Marc’s Trapped Inside a Painting and is Critiqued by Trendy Hipsters

May 19, 2004

Marc Washes Ashore on a Tropical Island, and is Worshipped by Purple Trolls

May 20, 2004

Marc’s a Bird Dog for Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld on a Duck Hunting Trip; First Dream Diary Appearance of Jesus

May 21, 2004

Marc’s on The Sopranos, and Tony Soprano’s Not Amused

May 24, 2004

Marc’s a Female Bathroom Attendant in a Neocon Bathroom

May 25, 2004

Marc is Riding His Bike with President Bush, Who is Attacked by Animals and Falls Off His Bike

May 26, 2004

Marc’s a Slick Hollywood Agent, and He’s Cutting Loose His Client, George W. Bush

May 27, 2004

Marc’s a Telemarketer; He Calls President Bush, Jesus, and Himself

May 28, 2004

Marc Gets a Political Baptism from Al Gore

June 1, 2004

Marc’s in High School on the Last Day of School, but Principal Rumsfeld Won’t Let Him Go

June 2, 2004

Marc’s a Slave Building the Pyramids in Ancient Egypt; Dead Cat Butch Makes a Cameo

June 3, 2004

Marc is at a Mark Convention at the Radisson Hotel

June 4, 2004

Marc’s a CIA Spook on a Mission, but Their Funding Gets Cut Mid-Mission

June 7, 2004

Marc’s a Left-Wing Pollster

June 8, 2004

A Group of Fussy Liberal Rabbits Hold an Intervention for Marc

June 9, 2004

Marc Finds Himself Surrounded by Gerald Ford

June 10, 2004

Marc is a Waiter at a Five-Star Restaurant, and He’s Offering a Menu of Bush’s Failed Policies

June 14, 2004

Marc is Paris Hilton, and She Gets a Ride from Some Neocon Rednecks

June 15, 2004

Marc’s a Stem Cell, but He’s for Stem Cell Research

June 16, 2004

Marc’s Dead, and He Goes to Atheist Heaven

June 17, 2004

Marc’s Deleting Judgmental, Stinging Spam from His Computer

June 18, 2004

Marc is in Salem, and Cheney Has Him on Trial for Witchcraft and Heresy on His Radio Show

June 21, 2004

Marc’s a Matador in the Arena Facing Off Against Bush; Dead Cat Butch Makes an Appearance

June 22, 2004

Marc is Nude at Stonehenge During the Summer Solstice at Sunrise, but He Forgot His Wallet

June 23, 2004

Marc and Mishna Attend a Faith-Based Marriage Counseling Session, and They Get a Visit from Jesus

June 24, 2004

Marc’s at a Nightclub Surrounded by Addictive Substances

June 25, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Visit the Political Zoo

June 28, 2004

The Neocons Attempt to Cure Marc of His Liberalism

June 29, 2004

Marc’s the Prime Minister of Iraq, but Halliburton’s Still in Charge

June 30, 2004

Marc’s Floating on a Bamboo Raft in the South Pacific with Saddam Hussein

July 2, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Attend a Fourth of July Parade

July 6, 2004

Marc Goes Through Airport Security, and Talks to Jesus

July 7, 2004

Marc’s at a Coyote Bachelor Party, and John Edwards Pops Out of a Cake

July 8, 2004

Marc’s a Southern Sheriff Who Tries to Arrest Ken Lay

July 9, 2004

Marc Performs at Woodstock; Encounters Dead Cat Butch, Jesus, and 1960s Bush

July 12, 2004

Marc Visits the Psychic Madame Bob

July 13, 2004

Marc is Celebrating at Kerry Headquarters on Election Night, but Bush Postpones the Election

July 14, 2004

Marc is a Termite, and Bush is the Tree

July 15, 2004

Marc’s an Elderly Retiree in Florida, and He Finds Bush and Cheney as Fish Flopping on the Shore

July 16, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Rummage Through the Trash Heap of the American Dream

July 19, 2004

Marc’s on Jeopardy with Ken Jennings and George W. Bush

July 20, 2004

Marc is Dick Cheney’s New Doctor

July 21, 2004

Marc is Chased Through TV by a Bloodthirsty Cheney

July 22, 2004

Bush is an Ice Cream Man Selling Marc Some Neocon Ice Cream

July 23, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch are in the Tour de France, Along with the 2004 Presidential Candidates

July 26, 2004

Marc Sees Bill Clinton’s Elvis-Like Appearance at the Democratic National Convention (Guest Appearance by Bill from Harlem)

July 27, 2004

Marc Watches the Protestors at the Democratic National Convention, and Gets a Visit by Jesus, Buddha, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

July 28, 2004

Marc Speaks at the Democratic National Convention, and Jesus Opens for Him

July 29, 2004

Marc Visits John Kerry’s Head

July 30, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Visits the Aftermath of the Democratic National Convention, and They Help Presidents Harry Truman, Franklin Roosevelt, and John F. Kennedy Clean Up

August 2, 2004

Marc Watches the Movie Edwards and Kerry Go to White Castle

August 3, 2004

Marc is Evel Knievel, and He Needs to Jump Over Obstacles to Win the 2004 Election

August 4, 2004

Marc Arrives at Work to Find That Halliburton Has Bought Air America Radio and Fired Everyone Except Him; First Appearance of Marc the Shark

August 5, 2004

Marc’s Playing Golf at the Country Club with Tom Ridge

August 6, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Rob a Bank, and Marc is Goaded Into Confronting Bush During a Stump Speech

August 9, 2004

Marc’s in His Panic Room Waiting for the Republican National Convention

August 10, 2004

Marc’s a Mountain Goat; He Watches Ram-Kerry and Ram-Bush Face Off for Supremacy

August 11, 2004

Marc is Riding a Tricycle, and He’s Trying to Outrun an Earthquake Coming Up Behind Him

August 12, 2004

Marc is a Barber Trying to Cut Hair and Give People a President

August 13, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch are in Mexico; Butch Disappears to Train with Mexican Revolutionaries, and Marc Gets Caught in a Time Loop

August 23, 2004

Marc Competes at the Olympics as a Goalie for the Iraqi Soccer Team

August 24, 2004

Marc Attends a Meeting of the Bush Dirty Task Force in a Boiler Room Under the Pentagon

August 25, 2004

Marc Yells at the Fussy Liberal Rabbits at the Coffee House, and Gets a Visit from John Kerry

August 26, 2004

Marc the Shark #2—An Abu Ghraib Animal House Would Be a Friggin’ Blast, and John Kerry is a Stupid, Flip-Flopping Liberal

August 27, 2004

Dead Cat Butch Gets Ready to Protest the Republican National Convention

August 30, 2004

Marc Performs a Protest Prank at the Republican National Convention, and Gets Killed in the Process

August 31, 2004

Marc is Protesting the 1968 Republican National Convention, and He Runs Into Jesus

September 1, 2004

Marc the Shark #3—Live from the Republican National Convention—Next Time, GOP, Why Don’t You Hold Your Convention in America?

September 2, 2004

Marc is a Rat Living at Madison Square Garden During the Republican National Convention

September 3, 2004

Aftermath of the Republican National Convention; Marc Bails Dead Cat Butch and the Four Strays Out of Jail

September 7, 2004

Marc is a Correspondent for the Weather Channel During Hurricane Francis

September 8, 2004

Marc the Shark #4—Marc the Shark on Bill Clinton’s Recent Heart Surgery: You’re Fat, and You Had Sex with a Fat Girl!

September 9, 2004

Marc is Hosting Fight Club Matches Between Cheney and Edwards, Bush and Kerry

September 10, 2004

Marc, Dead Cat Butch, and the Four Strays Visit Camp David; Butch Snorts Coke with President Bush

September 13, 2004

Marc is a Wandering Liberal; He’s Taken in by Other Outcast Progressives, but is Later Captured by the Right

September 14, 2004

Marc is in a Wheelchair Spying Into Political Rear Windows

September 15, 2004

Marc the Shark #5—Marc the Shark Celebrates the End of the Assault Weapons Ban, and John Kerry is a French Fruit

September 16, 2004

Gulliver Marc Discovers a Neocon Lilliput

September 17, 2004

Dead Cat Butch Teaches a Class of Six-Year-Olds the Truth About Life and Education

September 20, 2004

Sir Marc, from the Forces of Kerry, Climbs the Ivory Tower of Nader Supporters to Seek Their Aid

September 21, 2004

After Thirty-Two Years, Marc Wakes Up in a Neocon-Run Future at the Bush Center for the Pacification of Dangerous Urges

September 22, 2004

Marc the Shark #6—Dan Rather, You’re a Liar, and You’re Old! Also, Bush is Better Than Kerry Because He Started His Own War to Be a War Hero!

September 23, 2004

Marc’s a Translator at the United Nations, and He’s Trying to Translate President Bush’s Speech Into Actual English

September 24, 2004

Dead Cat Butch Saves the Mother of the Four Strays from Captivity

September 27, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #1

September 28, 2004

Al Franken Confronts Marc About His Proclivity for Making Fun of Him

September 29, 2004

Marc the Shark #7—Marc the Shark on the Upcoming Debates: John Kerry Should Go Back to France and Marry His Boyfriend!

September 30, 2004

Candidate Marc Appears with Bush at the Presidential Debate, but It Turns Into a Slapstick Farce

October 1, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Attend the Vote for Change Concert; Butch Attacks Bruce Springsteen

October 4, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #2

October 5, 2004

Marc Watches the Vice-Presidential Debate, Featuring Demonic Cheney Versus Demonic Edwards

October 6, 2004

Marc the Shark #8—Cheney Took Edwards to Abu Ghraib at the Vice-Presidential Debates

October 7, 2004

Marc is a Professional Wrestler; He Takes on a Scrawny Neocon Who Can Replicate

October 8, 2004

Marc Takes Dead Cat Butch to a Psychiatrist

October 11, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #3

October 12, 2004

Marc Meets Robert Reich at the Rim of Mount St. Helens, Who Claims That the Volcano Will Erupt Due to Emotional Hostility

October 13, 2004

Marc the Shark #9—It’s Time for the Third Presidential Debate, or “Round Three of Spank the Traitor!”

October 14, 2004

Marc 2.0

October 15, 2004

Marc Hosts the Cable News Show Ball Fire, Tonight Featuring a Guest Panel of Jacques Derrida, Rodney Dangerfield, and Dead Cat Butch

October 18, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #4

October 19, 2004

Marc is a Female Producer at Fox News, and She’s Trying to Fend Off Bill O’Reilly

October 20, 2004

Marc the Shark #10—If People are So Lazy That They’re Getting Taken Off of Voter Rolls, Then They Don’t Deserve to Vote!

October 21, 2004

The Apocalypse Happens, and Marc and Dick Cheney are the Last Men Left on Earth

October 22, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Go Door-to-Door Registering Votes

October 25, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #5

October 26, 2004

A Group of Republican Thugs Attempt to Prevent Marc from Voting

October 27, 2004

Marc is at the Board of Elections Trying to Register Jesus

October 28, 2004

Marc Performs Bad Stand-Up to Entertain People Waiting On-Line to Vote

October 29, 2004

Marc Goes to Vote with Dead Cat Butch, and They Must Battle Zombies and Warlock Cheney to Do So

November 1, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #6

November 2, 2004

All Progressives are Firemen; Fireman Marc Encounters a Heroic John Kerry Rescuing a Baby from a Burning Building

November 3, 2004

The Air America Studios are Flooded with Burning Red Slime, but Wayne Gilman Comes to the Rescue

November 4, 2004

A Team of Scientists Prepare to Surgically Enhance Marc to Make Him the Perfect Visionary to Lead the Progressive Movement

November 5, 2004

Dead Cat Butch and the Four Strays Prepare to Protest the Election Results by Force

November 8, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #7

November 9, 2004

Marc’s in a Steam Room at the Country Club Talking to the High Rollers About the Election Results

November 10, 2004

Marc’s a Racehorse in the Kentucky Derby; He Loses and Everyone Argues About Why He Lost

November 11, 2004

Marc Meets Mack Daddy John Ashcroft in a Nightclub

November 12, 2004

Dead Cat Butch and the Four Strays “Reeducate” a Non-Voter

November 15, 2004

Marc Breaks Up with the 2004 Elections, but They’ll Always Have “Firetruck”

November 16, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #8

November 17, 2004

Marc is a CIA Spook with Vital Information, but Gets Fired by His Boss for Rocking the Boat

November 18, 2004

Marc is Visited by Three Men Who Want Him to Serve in Bush’s Cabinet as the Secretary for the Department of Blame

November 19, 2004

Marc Watches Dead Cat Butch Gorge Herself at a Four-Star Restaurant

November 22, 2004

Marc “Bongos” Maron Performs His Poetry at the Coffee House #9

November 23, 2004

Marc is a Professional Basketball Player; He Attacks His Fans When Someone Throws a Cup of Ice on Him

November 24, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Attend the First Thanksgiving, but Butch Unsuccessfully Attempts to Incite a Riot Among the Indians

November 29, 2004

Marc is Beaten Up by Two Giant M&Ms

November 30, 2004

Marc is a Native Bushman in the Kalahari Who’s Corrupted by an Xbox

December 1, 2004

Marc is the Latest Member of U2, and He Suggests They Use a Song Called “Smack the Azz”

December 2, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Visit the Museum of Modern Art; Butch Critiques the Exhibits

December 6, 2004

Steroid Marc Takes Out His Frustrations on Bush and Ashcroft

December 7, 2004

Marc’s a Department Store Santa, and Has to Listen to Children Asking for Political-Themed Presents

December 8, 2004

Marc and Jesus Attend a Jesus Convention at the Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort

December 9, 2004

Marc Attends the Air America Radio Holiday Party, but Karl Rove’s Spiked the Punch

December 10, 2004

Dead Cat Butch Teaches a Sex Education Class for Junior High School Students

December 13, 2004

Marc Encounters a Version of Himself from Fifteen Years Earlier

December 14, 2004

Marc is a Little Drummer Boy Who Performs at an Unusual Nativity Scene

December 15, 2004

Marc is Interviewed for the Position of Homeland Security Chief

December 16, 2004

Marc and Mishna Exchange Holiday Gifts; She Gives Him a Collection of Tiny Neocons…as Well as Gremlins, Cobras, and Piranhas to Feed Them To

December 17, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Go Christmas Shopping at K-Mart; Marc is Surprised at How Much Butch Loves Christmas

December 27, 2004

Marc is Howard Hughes! Germs!

December 28, 2004

Marc is at a Night Club Full of Nasty, Green Neocons Who Melt When Exposed to Daylight

December 29, 2004

Marc is a Professional Wrestler Named the Self-Hater, and He Fights Himself in the Ring

December 30, 2004

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Spend New Year’s Eve in Paris Sitting on the Banks of the Seine River; They Share a Heart-to-Heart Discussion

January 3, 2005

Marc Wakes Up in 2005 Falsely Believing That It’s 2004, and Writes His New Year’s Resolutions for That Year

January 4, 2005

George Bush and Bill Clinton Talk About How Immature George W. Bush is…While He’s Standing There

January 5, 2005

Marc’s a Football Player Who Needs to Kick the Field Goal to Win the Orange Bowl, but an Eagle Takes Off with the Ball

January 6, 2005

Marc’s an Accountant for the GAO Who’s Auditing Bush’s Budget; He Gets to Sample the Delicious Money Pie

January 7, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Interrogates Alberto Gonzales in an Abandoned Bull Ring

January 10, 2005

Marc Hangs Out with a Depressed and Lonely Brad Pitt at His Malibu Mansion

January 11, 2005

Marc’s a New Congressman on Capitol Hill, and He Gets Initiated Into Congress by Getting Baptized in a Pool of Gold by Tom DeLay

January 12, 2005

Armstrong Williams Hypnotizes Marc Into Doing Endorsements on Morning Sedition

January 13, 2005

Marc Visits His Therapist, Who Cuts Into His Head and Devours His Brain

January 14, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Leads a Cat Insurrection in Washington D.C. During Bush’s Inaugural Parade

January 17, 2005

Marc Visits Geezer’s Palace, a Casino Where Old People Gamble with Their Social Security Benefits

January 18, 2005

Marc’s an Auctioneer Auctioning Off Items from the Bush Administration’s Estate

January 19, 2005

Marc Attends Inauguration Day…So He Can Take the Oath of Office

January 20, 2005

Marc Wanders the Desert Handcuffed to Another Version of Himself; They Argue About How to “Celebrate” Inauguration Day

January 21, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Hijacks a School Bus Headed for Bible Camp; She Takes the Children to a Bar and Teaches Them About Evolution

January 24, 2005

Marc Performs at Jimmy Tingle’s Off Broadway Theater for a Room Full of Terrorists

January 25, 2005

Marc Attends an Academy Awards Ceremony Packed with Marc Marons, and He Wins All of the Awards

January 26, 2005

Marc Attends Democratic Boot Camp with Drill Sergeant Howard Dean

January 27, 2005

Marc is a Pizza Delivery Boy, and He Delivers a Pizza to a Dominatrix Condoleezza Rice

January 31, 2005

Marc is in the United Kingdom, and Tries to Play the Game of Global Empire

February 1, 2005

Marc is in a Place of Perfect Harmony…IKEA

February 2, 2005

It’s Groundhog Day, and Marc is an Embittered Groundhog

February 3, 2005

Marc is Fishing, but Various Animals Tempt Him to Eat Meat; He’s Attacked by Carnivorous Animals to the Amusement of Jim Earl

February 4, 2005

Marc Visits Dead Cat Butch in Hollywood, and She Casts Him for the Part of Himself in Butch’s Life Story

February 8, 2005

Marc is Rex, King of Mardi Gras; He’s Attacked by Pirate Cheney During the Parade

February 9, 2005

Marc is Attacked by Government Goons Who Strip His Carcass Down to Pay for Bush’s Budget Cuts

February 10, 2005

Marc is in a Secret Cloning Lab, Where Scientists Have Created Variations of the Marc Maron Archetype

February 11, 2005

Marc Discovers That Dead Cat Butch is a General in a Secret Organization of Cats Bent of World Domination

February 15, 2005

Marc Meets a Series of Saffron-Related Figures in Central Park, and Each One Has an Interpretation of Christo’s Art Installation The Gates

February 16, 2005

In a Future Dystopian America, a 140-Year-Old Marc Reflects on His Bush-Tainted Nation

February 17, 2005

Marc Breaks Down and Buys an iPod, Which Begins to Tempt Him to “Tune Out”

February 18, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Attempts to Bring the Gift of Pleasure to Iraq, and Nearly Gets Herself and Marc Killed

February 21, 2005

Marc is a NASCAR Driver—Driving “The Liberal Lightning”—and Races Against Dick Cheney

February 22, 2005

Marc Organizes a Meeting of Liberals to Plan for 2008, but They Get Nothing Done

February 23, 2005

Marc Visits an Elderly Franklin D. Roosevelt at a Nursing Home

February 24, 2005

Marc Visits the Galápagos Islands, Talks Evolution with Darwin, and Sees Other Species of Marc Maron

February 25, 2005

Marc Drives Through the Desert in a Red Cadillac with Dead Cat Butch and Hunter S. Thompson

February 28, 2005

Marc is at the Academy Awards, but It Gets Interrupted by Hollywood’s Annual Secret Agenda Meeting

March 1, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” at the Gym

March 2, 2005

Marc is Surfing Off the Shore of Awaho with Howard Dean; They’re Attacked by Sea Monster Cheney

March 3, 2005

Marc is a Sheep Farmer, and He Needs to Save His Sheep from a Coyote Trying to Feed Them the Luntz Memo

March 4, 2005

In an Attempt to Reach Out to Red State America, Dead Cat Butch Stages an Orgy at a Topeka Mall

March 7, 2005

Moses Marc Attempts to Receive the Ten Commandments from a Stoned God

March 8, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” on a Flight to Los Angeles

March 9, 2005

Marc is Attending a Meeting of the Fussy Liberal Rabbits, Who Critique His Work on Morning Sedition

March 10, 2005

Jesus Tries to Hold the Second Coming, but Gets Spooked and Hides Out in Marc’s Apartment

March 11, 2005

Marc is in Alaska for the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, but Dead Cat Butch Wins the Race with Her Cat Sled and by Drugging the Dogs with Ecstasy

March 14, 2005

Marc Arrives Late for a Play, Endures Abuse, and Sees the Corpulent Buddha Marc

March 15, 2005

Marc is Carjacked by His Wife’s iPod in Los Angeles, and He’s Forced to “Tune Out” and Go Shopping for New Clothes

March 16, 2005

Marc is a Liberal Trapped on the Planet of Neocon Apes

March 17, 2005

Marc is Dying in an Ambulance; He Strikes a Deal with a Death Clown to Come Back to Life

March 18, 2005

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Attend the St. Patrick’s Day Parade; Butch Arranges a Special Float Complete with Filthy Cat Sex

March 28, 2005

Marc’s Back from Vacation, but Unwittingly Becomes a Guest on The Jerry Springer Show

March 29, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” on the Subway

March 30, 2005

Marc’s an Incoherent, Bearded, Rattlesnake Handling, Loincloth-Wearing Religious Nut

March 31, 2005

It’s One Year Ago, and Marc Relives His First Day on Air America Radio

April 1, 2005

The Dream Diary Origin of Dead Cat Butch

April 4, 2005

Marc Meets with Himself as a Mortician, and Mortician Marc Writes Up the Contract for His Impending Death

April 5, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” at the DMV

April 6, 2005

Marc is Approached by the College of Cardinals, Who’s Elected Him to Be the New Pope

April 7, 2005

Marc Gets Into a Cab and Discovers That Jesus is the Driver; They Go Out for Coffee and Discuss Current Events

April 8, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Stages a Protest Orgy at the Funeral of Pope John Paul II

April 11, 2005

Marc Arrives at the Air America Studios Only to Find Out That His Job Has Been Outsourced to India

April 12, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” While Waiting in Line at a Movie Theater

April 13, 2005

Marc is an Attraction at a Carnival Freak Show, Where He Throws His Poop at the Audience

April 14, 2005

Marc is at a Bar with a Demonic Dan Pashman, Who Tricks Him Into Falling Off the Wagon

April 15, 2005

Marc Discovers Dead Cat Butch Interrogating Tom DeLay

April 18, 2005

Marc Meets Palm Beach Marc, Who Married a Rich Widow, Inherited Her Money, and is Now a Rich Prick

April 19, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” While Waiting in Line at an ATM

April 20, 2005

It’s 1978, and Ted Nugent Takes a 14-Year-Old Marc Hunting After a Concert

April 21, 2005

Marc and Jesus Eat at a Diner, Where They Talk About the Election of the New Pope

April 22, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Stages a Bloody Protest at the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge

April 25, 2005

Marc is Trapped at a Steel Cage at a Kentucky Megachurch for Justice Sunday

April 26, 2005

Marc’s iPod Tempts Him to “Tune Out” at an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet

April 27, 2005

Marc Meets Jesus for Coffee, and is Introduced to His “Partner” Jeffrey

April 29, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Unites the Feral Cats of Wisconsin Against the Hunters Who Would Hunt Them

May 2, 2005

Marc Comes Home to Find Himself Married to Six Women—a Passive-Aggressive One, a Jealous One, a Depressed One, a Secret Drinker, a Lesbian, and Mishna

May 3, 2005

Marc’s iPod Talks Him Out of Committing Suicide

May 6, 2005

Dead Cat Butch and Her Cat Army Take Over PBS and Greenlight a Bunch of New Shows

May 10, 2005

Marc is Sitting Alone in His Cincinnati Hotel Room When He’s Suddenly Welcomed by the City

May 12, 2005

Marc’s iPod Forces Him to “Tune Out” and Buy Stuff Online

May 13, 2005

In an Attempt to Save the Filibuster, Marc and Dead Cat Butch Abduct Bill Frist

May 17, 2005

Marc Visits the Magical World of Meat

May 19, 2005

Marc’s iPod Forces Him to “Tune Out” and Buy an Herbal Supplement from a Telemarketer

May 20, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Stages an Orgy in a Movie Theater Showing the Latest Star Wars Movie

May 24, 2005

Marc Takes a Fantastic Voyage Into His Body to Remove the Congestion from His Chest

May 27, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Kidnaps James Dobson, and Attempts to “Convert” Him to Homosexuality

June 3, 2005

Live from City Bakery, Dead Cat Butch Takes Over the Morning Sedition Broadcast and Drugs the Crowd with Ecstasy-Loaded Pastry

June 10, 2005

Live from the Strand Bookstore, Dead Cat Butch Takes Over Morning Sedition Again, and Reads Passages from Tropic of Cancer, Naked Lunch, and 120 Days of Sodom

June 21, 2005

Marc is Chased by a Bloody Mad Cow and Encounters Zombies; His Body Transforms Into Vegetables

July 8, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Interrogates Karl Rove

July 29, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Performs Brain Surgery on Karl Rove and Scooter Libby

October 7, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Forces a Hypnotized Harriet Miers to Admit Her Homosexuality

November 3, 2005

Dead Cat Butch Takes Over the Senate Hearing Chamber, and Holds Her Own Confirmation Hearing for Samuel Alito

December 2, 2005

Dead Cat Butch and Her Cat Army Overthrow the United States Government and Liberate the Country

December 9, 2005

With Morning Sedition Over, Dead Cat Butch Drives Marc and the Four Strays Cross-Country to Los Angeles; Butch Says Goodbye

December 16, 2005

As Morning Sedition Ends, the Crew—as Firemen—Burn the City Down, Removing All Traces of Their Show, as Dawn Approaches

May 28, 2008

Marc Travels to Mars, and He Meets the Last Martian

May 30, 2008

Marc and Dead Cat Butch Confront the Protestors in Front of the Democratic Rules Committee, and She Helps the Clinton Supporters and Obama Supporters Achieve Party Unity…in Her Usual Way

Dream Interpretation

(Marc Maron, Mark Riley, and the Callers)

January 11, 2005

The Inspiration for Dream Interpretation

January 12, 2005

Dream Interpretation #1

January 19, 2005

Dream Interpretation #2

January 26, 2005

Dream Interpretation #3

February 2, 2005

Dream Interpretation #4

February 9, 2005

Dream Interpretation #5

February 16, 2005

Dream Interpretation #6

February 23, 2005

Dream Interpretation #7

March 2, 2005

Dream Interpretation #8

March 9, 2005

Dream Interpretation #9

March 16, 2005

Dream Interpretation #10

March 30, 2005

Dream Interpretation #11

April 13, 2005

Dream Interpretation #12

April 22, 2005

Marc Maron’s Bootleg Dream Diary


June 8, 2005

Mark Riley’s Dream Diary

September 13, 2005

Dream Interpretation with Little Goliath

December 12, 2005

Dream Interpretation with Dan Pashman

Drunken White House Official

(Kent Jones)

June 2, 2004

First Call

June 3, 2004

Second Call

June 4, 2004

Third Call

Eddie Pepitone, Investigative Reporter

(Eddie Pepitone)

March 7, 2006

GotMercury.Org’s Report on the High Levels of Mercury in Tuna

March 21, 2006

The Desegregation of Double Cells in California Prisons

April 21, 2006

Mick Jagger is Filming an ABC Pilot

June 30, 2006

A Surprisingly Sedate Pepitone Discusses His Plans to Bring “Culture” to Maximum-Security Prisons

Friday Business Report

(Jim Earl & Marc Maron)

June 25, 2004

The U.S. Supreme Court’s Decision Prohibiting Patients from Suing HMOs for Refusing Them Proper Medical Care

July 2, 2004

The Apparent Loss by the Coalition Provisional Authority of Over $20 Billion Dollars of Iraqi Oil Revenues

July 9, 2004

The Announcement That Al Jazeera is Planning to Become a Publicly-Traded Company

July 16, 2004

The Better-Than-Expected Profits for McDonald’s European Division

July 23, 2004

The Indian Government is Finally Distributing Union Carbide’s $30 Million Settlement to the Victims of the 1984 Bhopal Disaster

July 30, 2004

The Bush Administration’s Proposal to Slash at Least a Half a Billion Dollars a Year in Medicare Payments to Cancer Doctors

August 6, 2004

Governor Schwarzenegger is Launching a Worldwide Billboard Campaign Featuring His Image for the Sole Purpose of Attracting More Business to California

August 13, 2004

President Bush Will Allow the Texas-Based El Paso Corporation to Drill for Natural Gas on 40,000 Acres of Pristine Alpine Meadow and Forestland in New Mexico

August 27, 2004

For the Next Two Days, California Governor Schwarzenegger Will Hold a Government Auction to Rid His State of Confiscated Property

September 3, 2004

According to Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, Our Country’s Aging Population Will Wreck the Economy Unless Drastic Changes are Made to Social Security and Medicare

September 10, 2004

LSD and Ecstasy Use Among Young People is Down by Nearly Half, but More Kids are Binge Drinking and Downing Prescription Pills Than Ever Before

September 17, 2004

Four Businessmen Were Executed for Bank Fraud, Account Theft, and Bribery…in China

September 24, 2004

Lieutenant General Mikhail Kalashnikov, Inventor of the AK-47, Wants to Introduce His Own Brand of Vodka

October 1, 2004

A Japanese Company Has Started Producing What Will Surely Become the Crown Jewel of Asian Technology: A Man-Shaped Pillow

October 8, 2004

The Best Investment Opportunity to Turn Up in Four Years: Twelve Hundred-Year-Old Anglo-Saxon Pennies!

October 15, 2004

Procter & Gamble Announced It Will Stop Using Outside Laboratories to Test Its Products on Animals

October 29, 2004

As November 2nd is Nearly Upon Us, You May Only Have Three More Days to Plumb the Great Unmet Needs of the American Consumer

November 5, 2004

The George W. Bush Decade Will Continue, and Our Brave War President’s Mandate Means Big Bucks for the Corporate World

November 12, 2004

The Department of Justice Has Just Subpoenaed Pharmaceutical Giant Merck & Co. for Information Relating to Its Popular Arthritis Drug Vioxx

November 19, 2004

In Four Years, China Will Host the Olympic Games, Attracting More Foreign Visitors to the Beijing Area Than at Any Other Time in History…and That’s Where the World Toilet Organization Comes In!

Future Marc

(Marc Maron & ???)

April 13, 2005

First Call from Future Marc

April 20, 2005

Work is Strength, Work is the Way!

April 27, 2005

Life Post-Oil, Featuring Massive Flooding and Whales as Pests

May 6, 2005

Real-Life Video Games, Food Bombs, and America’s Diminished Stature

May 11, 2005

Infoblast

May 18, 2005

Cloning and Clone Abuse

May 26, 2005

Future Movies and the Shared Narrative Archive

June 1, 2005

America is Now Islamic, but the Middle East is Presbyterian

June 8, 2005

The Trip Harness, Part 1—Introduction of Future Future Marc

June 15, 2005

The Trip Harness, Part 2—Future Marc Screws Up the Past by Attempting to Change It

June 22, 2005

The United States is a Giant Prison

June 30, 2005

The Mad Potato Outbreak, Earned Human Contact Points, and Constant Parades

July 6, 2005

Celebrity Island

July 13, 2005

Iraqansas, Irandiana, and the Wide-Around-the-Middle East

July 21, 2005

President Rove and the Informant Society; Future Future Marc Rats Out Future Marc

July 27, 2005

Future Mark Riley and His Clone Army

August 3, 2005

Future Marc and Future Mark Visit an Atlantean Jazz Club

August 10, 2005

Stand-Up Comedy is Now a Contact Sport

August 24, 2005

Future Therapy

September 8, 2005

Giant Earthworms, Singing Moles, and Future Marc’s Investments Underground

September 14, 2005

New New Orleans

October 5, 2005

The Spin Doctors Become the Foundation of Western Culture

October 12, 2005

Fat Future Marc

November 16, 2005

MaronCo

December 8, 2005

The Rapture Happens, and Future Marc is in Charge of Torturing the Damned

December 16, 2005

Future Morning Sedition

Jeff DiCarlo

(Seth Morris)

April 21, 2006

Jeff Appears as a Guest In-Studio, Explains His Tax Deduction System and Biowave Analysis, and Provides Mediation Between Marc Maron and Jim Earl (Featuring Jim’s Wheel of Anger and Eddie Pepitone)

May 1, 2006

Jeff Stages a Protest to Support the Rights of Immigrant Workers from His Bed, Day One

May 2, 2006

Jeff Stages a Protest to Support the Rights of Immigrant Workers from His Bed, Day Two

May 24, 2006

The Internal Liberation Front and the Million Man Nap in Washington, D.C.

July 11, 2006

Jeff Finds Out That The Marc Maron Show Has Been Cancelled, and Begins a Home Protest Until the Show is Brought Back on the Air

November 6, 2006

Marc Maron Guests Hosts Springer on the Radio—Jeff Watches the 2006 Midterm Elections from His Bed, and He Monitors a Suspicious Polling Center Across the Street from His House

December 1, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Jeff Talks About the Deplorable State of Health Care in the United States

December 18, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Jeff on the Best Way to Celebrate the Decadent and Wasteful Holiday Season: Doing Nothing, and Regifting Junk

Jim’s Poetry Corner

(Jim Earl)

March 22, 2006

“Refrigerator Notes I”

March 31, 2006

“The World is My Toilet”

April 24, 2006

A Poetic Trilogy

June 1, 2006

“My Thoughts as I Think Them”

June 14, 2006

“Refrigerator Notes II”

June 26, 2006

“Office Depot Customer Feedback Letters”

July 11, 2006

“My Street”

Johnny K Street

(Mike Ferrucci)

April 14, 2005

Top Bets for April 14, 2005—Tom DeLay’s Indictment

April 21, 2005

Top Bets for April 21, 2005—The New Pope, John Bolton, and Justice Sunday

April 28, 2005

Top Bets for April 28, 2005—Tom DeLay, the Filibuster, and American Idol

May 12, 2005

Top Bets for May 12, 2005—The Testimonial Dinner for Tom DeLay, Renee Zellweger’s Marriage, and the John Bolton Vote

May 19, 2005

Top Bets for May 19, 2005—Desecration of the Qur’an, the White House Censoring Newsweek, and the Filibuster; Johnny Confronts Marc About His Vig

May 26, 2005

Top Bets for May 26, 2005—Stem Cell Research, John Bolton, James Dobson, and the Michael Jackson Trial

June 2, 2005

Top Bets for June 2, 2005—Deep Throat, the Downing Street Memo, and Rush Limbaugh

June 3, 2005

Top Bets for June 3, 2005—The Olympics in New York, Paris Hilton, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton

June 9, 2005

Top Bets for June 9, 2005—Howard Dean, Russell Crowe, Bush’s Poll Numbers, and Guantanamo Prisoners Working at Bush’s Crawford Ranch

June 16, 2005

Top Bets for June 16, 2005—The Downing Street Memo, Bush’s Potential Impeachment, and Trent Lott; Johnny Made Some Money Off of the Acquittal of Michael Jackson

June 24, 2005

Top Bets for June 24, 2005—Bush’s Potential Impeachment, Osama bin Laden, and Edward Klein’s New Anti-Hillary Book; Johnny Recounts His Childhood at the Sands’ Las Vegas Outreach Program

June 30, 2005

Top Bets for June 30, 2005—The Iraqi Forces, Imminent Domain Laws, Bush’s Poll Numbers, Princess Diana, and Karl Rove; Johnny Downplays His Relationship with Hillary Clinton and Waxes Nostalgic Over John F. Kennedy

July 8, 2005

Top Bets for July 8, 2005—Karl Rove; Marc and Johnny Recreate a Scene from Goodfellas

July 15, 2005

Top Bets for July 15, 2005—Karl Rove

July 22, 2005

Top Bets for July 22, 2005—John Roberts, Osama bin Laden, and Karl Rove

August 5, 2005

Top Bets for August 5, 2005—Bush’s Latest Crawford Vacation and Robert Novak; Johnny Recounts How He Met the Ramones, Promotes His New Book You Bet, My Life: The Johnny K Street Story, and How He Got Searched on the Subway

August 11, 2005

Top Bets for August 11, 2005—Bush and Cindy Sheehan, Dick Cheney, and What Bush Will Do to Improve His Poll Numbers

August 19, 2005

Top Bets for August 19, 2005—Cindy Sheehan; Johnny Talks About His Friendship with Al Sharpton and Promotes His Upcoming Appearance on Growing Up Gotti

August 26, 2005

Top Bets for August 26, 2005—Sean Penn, Pat Robertson, and the Iraqi Constitution; Johnny Denies Having an Affair with Victoria Gotti

September 9, 2005

Top Bets for September 9, 2005—Michael Brown, the Estate Tax, and Who the Bush Administration Will Blame for Hurricane Katrina; Johnny Remembers His Childhood

September 16, 2005

Top Bets for September 16, 2005—Halliburton, John Roberts, and Ann Coulter’s Porn Past

September 22, 2005

Top Bets for September 22, 2005—Bush’s Reaction to Hurricane Rita, the Money He’s Laying Out for Corporations, and His Poll Numbers

September 29, 2005

Top Bets for September 29, 2005—Tom DeLay, Michael Brown, and Whether or Not Bush is Drinking Again; Johnny Talks About How He was Approached to Open a Riverboat Casino in New Orleans

October 7, 2005

Top Bets for October 7, 2005—Harriet Miers, Terrorist Attacks on the NYC Subway, Karl Rove, and Tom DeLay; Johnny Promotes His Poker World Series, Which He’s Holding in Concert with the USO

October 13, 2005

Top Bets for October 13, 2005—Harriet Miers, Karl Rove, and Tom DeLay; Johnny Recounts His Experience with John F. Kennedy and His Plans for a Gambling Website

October 21, 2005

Top Bets for October 21, 2005—Karl Rove, Tom DeLay, and the Saddam Hussein Trial; Johnny Promotes His Control Your Gambling System

October 27, 2005

Top Bets for October 27, 2005— Karl Rove, the Valerie Plame Affair, and Harriet Miers; Johnny Promotes His Halloween Casino Fright Night

November 3, 2005

Top Bets for November 3, 2005—Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Whether or Not Morning Sedition Will Be Cancelled, Samuel Alito, and Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles’ U.S. Visit; Johnny Promotes His New Nickelodeon Series K Stands for Kids

November 10, 2005

Top Bets for November 10, 2005—Whether or Not the Bush Administration Will Take More Hits, the Rift Between Bush and Cheney, and Bush’s Poll Numbers; Johnny Goes Over the Problems with Bush’s Popularity

November 17, 2005

Top Bets for November 17, 2005—The Potential Withdrawal Date from Iraq, Bush’s Poll Numbers, and the Valerie Plame Affair; Johnny Promotes His Thanksgiving Day Slot Tournament at the Mohegan Sun Casino

December 1, 2005

Top Bets for December 1, 2005— The Potential Withdrawal Date from Iraq, Bush’s Proposal to Bomb Al Jazeera; Johnny Promotes His Book and His Plans to Visit Vatican City

December 8, 2005

Top Bets for December 8, 2005—Airport Safety, Saddam Hussein, Condoleezza Rice, and Howard Dean; Johnny Suggests That Gambling Should be Legalized in Iraq

December 15, 2005

Top Bets for December 15, 2005—Marc Maron’s Future in Los Angeles and the Transit Strike in New York; Johnny Promotes His Upcoming Television Series Five Card Stud: The Johnny K Street Story and His Bets for Tots Campaign

December 15, 2005

Johnny K Street’s Theme Music

February 28, 2006

Top Bets for February 28, 2006—The NSA Spying Program, Jack Abramoff, and Samuel Alito (Internet Exclusive Clip)

March 2, 2006

Top Bets for March 2, 2006— Jack Abramoff, Dick Cheney, and the Dubai Ports Deal

April 18, 2006

Top Bets for April 18, 2006—Bush’s Plans to Nuke Iran and Donald Rumsfeld; Johnny Rails Against Bush’s Nuclear Tests in Nevada and Promotes His Summer Casino Night

April 18, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo

May 5, 2006

Top Bets for May 5, 2006—Gas Prices, the Midterm Elections, Bush’s Proposed Guest Worker Program, and Bush’s Poll Numbers; Johnny Promotes His Ultimate Cage Match Cockfighting and His Pro-Impeachment, Anti-Bush Rally K Stock

May 25, 2006

Top Bets for May 25, 2006—Michael Hayden, Halliburton, Whether or Not Bush Will Catch Another Terrorist, Karl Rove, and the Mexican Border Wall; Johnny Promotes His Book and the Fact That It’s Going to Broadway

June 15, 2006

Top Bets for June 15, 2006—Karl Rove, the Alleged Affair Between Bush and Condi, Suicides at Gitmo, and Ann Coulter; Johnny Promotes His Upcoming Website

July 12, 2006

Top Bets for July 12, 2006—Which Country’s Will Launch a Missile and Dick Cheney; Johnny Promotes His New Movie Production Company

December 21, 2006

Top Bets for December 21, 2006—The Surge, Tim Johnson, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama; Johnny Tears into Air America Radio and Promotes Both His K World International Resort and Casino in Dubai and His Casino Night Before Christmas

John Zach, Marc’s NSA Guy

(Brendan McDonald, Barry Lank)

March 14, 2006 (1)

First Appearance of John Zach, Marc’s NSA Guy; He Asks Marc to Help Him Fill the Holes in His Surveillance Reports

March 14, 2006 (2)

John Calls Marc to Pay Him Back for Helping Him

May 18, 2006 (1)

John Tries to Sell Marc Material for His Show, and Reveals That He’s on Suspension at the Moment

May 18, 2006 (2)

John Tries to Pitch More Material to Marc…That is Already Being Used on Other Programs

May 18, 2006 (3)

John Tries to Pitch Even More Material to Marc…Based on His Surveillance of Marc

May 25, 2006 (1)

John Calls Marc’s Booker and Arranges to Open for Him at a Show

May 25, 2006 (2)

John Reveals That He’s Been Calling Marc’s Mother; He Critiques Marc’s Porn Interests

May 25, 2006 (3)

John Reminds Him to Return an Overdue Video Tape, and Marc Begins to Suspect That John’s Stalking Him

May 31, 1006 (1)

John Tries to Offer Marc Advice About His Show, and Tries to Replace Jim Earl as Marc’s Co-Host

May 31, 1006 (2)

John Tries to Counsel Marc and His Wife Mishna During a Conference Wire Tap

May 31, 1006 (3)

John is Bored; He Calls Marc to See If They Could Hang Out

June 7, 2006 (1)

John Tries to Sell Marc Some Jokes About Tom Cruise

June 7, 2006 (2)

John Tries to Get Himself Invited to a Party Marc’s Having That Weekend

June 7, 2006 (3)

John Admits That, in Addition to His NSA Activities, He Follows Marc Around on His Own Time

June 13, 2006 (1)

John Tries to Perform His Act for Marc, Which He Stole from Steven Wright

June 13, 2006 (2)

John Admits That He Likes to Recreate Their Phone Conversations with His Friends

June 13, 2006 (3)

John Tries to Refinance Marc’s Mortgage, and Marc Reminisces About His Original Stalker

June 22, 2006 (1)

John Quits the NSA and Plans to Move to California to Become a Star

June 22, 2006 (2)

John Calls Marc’s Hollywood Contacts and Tells Them That Marc Wanted Them to Read His Screenplay

June 22, 2006 (3)

John’s Last Day at the NSA; He Asks If Marc Needs a Roommate

June 29, 2006

John Appears Live In-Studio and Defeated by the Hollywood Machine, and He Vows to Return to the NSA to Wiretap the “Suspicious” Celebrities That Ignored and Insulted Him

The Liberal Confessional

(Marc Maron, Mark Riley, and the Callers)

July 20, 2004

First Liberal Confessional; Marc Has Doubts About Taking Money and Doing Ads from Sprint

July 27, 2004

Marc Feels Guilty for Turns Women into Sexual Objects

August 3, 2004

Marc Feels Bad for Relenting When Arguing with Neocons

August 10, 2004

Marc Regrets Racial Profiling on the Subway

August 24, 2004

Marc is Uncertain as to How to be Charitable for the Homeless

August 31, 2004

Marc Feels Guilty for Ditching the RNC Protests Because He was Hungry

September 7, 2004

Marc is Upset That the Cats He Rescued Don’t Love Him

September 14, 2004

Marc Overreacts to the Polls

September 21, 2004

Marc Feels Guilty for Using His Gun Sound Effects

September 28, 2004

Marc Finds George W. Bush Funny

October 5, 2004

Marc Addresses Criticism from a Listener by Calling Her a Bitch

October 12, 2004

Marc Doubts Whether or Not He Should Eat Meat

November 9, 2004

Marc Feels Awful for Not Being Conspiratorial About the 2004 Election

November 16, 2004

Marc is Burnt Out; Wants to Drop Out of the Political Sphere

November 23, 2004

It’s Thanksgiving, but Marc Only Feels Thankful for Getting the Day Off

November 30, 2004

Marc Bought Some Nike Running Shorts

December 7, 2004

Marc Ate at McDonalds

December 14, 2004

Marc Confesses His Love for Porn

December 28, 2004

Marc Feels Bad for Not Hating Christmas (Featuring Guest Host Mick Foley)

January 4, 2005

Marc Feels Dirty for Acknowledging That Bush is Helping in the Tsunami Effort (Featuring Guest Host Anthony Lappé)

January 11, 2005

Marc is Disgusted with Bill Clinton

January 18, 2005

Marc Isn’t Planning on Protesting Bush’s Inauguration

January 25, 2005

Marc Wants the Iraqi Elections Descends Into Horror and Chaos (Featuring Brian from Everett)

February 1, 2005

Marc is Guilty of Being Insensitive to the Mentally Disabled…and Their Teddy Bears

February 8, 2005

Marc Has Been Accused of Straying from Liberal Scripture (Featuring Brian from Everett)

February 15, 2005

Marc Wants Mishna to Come to New York and Have His Baby

February 18, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty That He Now Knows How to Act Around Women, but Still Acts Like a Pig When They’re Not Around

February 22, 2005

Marc Wonders About His Commitment to the Liberal Cause

February 25, 2005

Marc is Upset That Morning Sedition is Being Replaced in Boulder, CO by Another Morning Show

March 1, 2005

Marc Wants to Keep the Additional Money That He Got with His New Contract and Spend It Himself

March 8, 2005

Marc Called Strippers “Damaged, Broken People” During a Previous Installment

March 15, 2005

Marc Feels Bad About the Amount of Paper That They Go Through on Morning Sedition

March 29, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Taking a Vacation Away from the Progressive Cause (Featuring Brian from Everett)

April 5, 2005

Marc Feels Bad About Making Fun of the Pope and Organized Religion

April 12, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty Over His Exchange with David Halberstam, and for His Lack of Respect for Old People

April 19, 2005

Marc is Worried About Sounding Gay After Interviewing Larry Kramer

April 26, 2005

Marc is Beginning to Believe Lou Dobbs About the Immigration Problem

May 3, 2005

Marc Feels Bad for Yelling at Producer Jonathan Larsen for Ordering Him Breakfast

May 10, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Not Being Able to Accept Simple Kindness from the People of Cincinnati

May 17, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Not Wanting to Donate to the ACLU and the Democratic Party (Featuring Cardinal Milfington)

May 24, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Having Fun That Weekend and Not Doing Anything to Help the Progressive Cause

June 7, 2005

Marc Likes to Check Out Women Breastfeeding and Gets Mad at the Baby for Getting in the Way

June 14, 2005

Marc Feels That the Torture-Related Puppet Show Technique at Gitmo Was Creative and Funny (Featuring Cardinal Milfington)

June 21, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Buying an Air Conditioner

June 28, 2005

Marc was at a Protest Rally for the Rights of Transgendered People, but was Still Freaked Out by Them

July 12, 2005

Marc Broke Down and Bought an iPod

July 19, 2005

Marc Had a Bad Immediate Reaction to Meeting a “Little Person”

July 26, 2005

Marc is for Random Bag Checks in the Subway

August 2, 2005

Marc Wants a Corvette

August 10, 2005

Marc Admits That He’s an Asshole, as He Got Into a Fight with Mishna for Bringing Home the Wrong Type of Dental Floss

August 16, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Not Regularly Feeding a Stray Cat in His Neighborhood

September 7, 2005

Marc Ate Meat on His Vacation

September 13, 2005

Marc Feels Guilty for Being on Vacation During Hurricane Katrina

September 20, 2005

Following an Interview with Former Porn Star Harry Reems, Marc Feels Less Guilty About Watching Porn

September 27, 2005

Marc Skipped the Anti-War Rally in Washington D.C. (Featuring Marc’s Mom, Toby Maron)

October 4, 2005

Marc Enjoyed Being on Good Morning America and Being Immersed in Entertainment News (Featuring Brian from Everett)

October 18, 2005

Marc Responded in Anger to Negative Email

October 25, 2005

Marc Has a Dark Respect for Tom DeLay, and Envies His Power (Featuring Bill Clinton / Bill from Harlem)

November 1, 2005

Marc’s Contract Negotiations Aren’t Going Well, and Marc Wonders if He Should Have Offered to Work for Less Money

November 9, 2005

After Morning Sedition Ends, Marc Wants to Break from the Liberal Cause and Go Mainstream

November 15, 2005

Marc Got Into a Fight with a Friend’s Girlfriend Over Bush’s Popularity, Which Led to His Friend Breaking Up with Her

November 22, 2005

Marc Betrays His Vegetarianism by Eating Biscuits with Sausage Gravy, and Realizes That He Misses Meat

November 29, 2005

Marc Wants to Give One of His Adopted Cats Away, but Has Also Contemplated Abandoning or Putting One of Them to Sleep (Featuring Cardinal Milfington)

December 6, 2005

Marc Invested Money in Cement Through a Family Friend, and the Stock Went Up Due to Hurricane Katrina

December 13, 2005

As Marc Loses His Job and His Radio Show, He Secretly Desires for Air America Radio to Fail Spectacularly Without Him, and Then Have Danny Goldberg Beg Him to Return (Featuring Lawton Smalls)

March 14, 2006

Marc Called His Wife a Bitch (Featuring Cardinal Milfington)

March 23, 2006

Marc Made a Gay Joke Implying That the Absence of a Father Figure Can Trigger Homosexuality (Featuring Cardinal Milfington)

Lt. Ronnie Rudolph

(Wyatt Cenac)

May 2, 2006

Recruiting Tactics

June 12, 2006

Army Ethics Training

July 12, 2006

AWOL

October 26, 2006

Army Strong

December 1, 2006

America’s Strategy in Iraq

December 19, 2006

The Surge

Marc’s Letters to God

(Marc Maron & Jim Earl)

February 28, 2006

Do You Like Me?

March 16, 2006

If I Died Tomorrow, Would I Be Remembered for My Work?

March 24, 2006

Could You Give Some Indication That You Exist?

Marc’s Stalker

(Tom Johnson)

July 28, 2005 (1)

First Call from Marc’s Stalker

July 28, 2005 (2)

Marc’s Stalker Reveals That He’s Watching Marc Maron

July 29, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Continues Threatening Marc

August 2, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Critiques Marc’s Recent Shows at the Improv and Tries to Hit Marc Up for Free Passes

August 4, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Has Problems with His Cell Phone’s Call Waiting Feature

August 9, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Asks Marc for His Schedule to Facilitate His Stalking Activities

August 11, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Follows Marc to the Movies; Marc Offers to Pay for His Ticket If He’ll Stalk Him at Better Films

August 22, 2005

Marc’s on Vacation; Marc’s Stalker Becomes Mark’s Stalker

August 23, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Breaks Into Marc’s Apartment…to Clean His Bathroom and Feed His Cats

August 25, 2005

Marc’s Stalker Tries to Borrow $600 from Mark Riley So He Can Stalk Marc in Hawaii

September 8, 2005 (1)

Marc Returns from Vacation to Find Out That His Stalker Has Moved On

September 8, 2005 (2)

Marc’s Stalker Continues Calling Mark Riley to Make Marc Jealous

September 12, 2005 (1)

Marc’s Stalker Betrays His Feelings with a Slip of the Tongue

September 12, 2005 (2)

Marc’s Stalker Misses Marc and Begs Him to Take Him Back

September 14, 2005 (1)

Marc’s Stalker is Terribly Depressed, and Marc Tells Him to Get Some Help

September 14, 2005 (2)

Marc’s Stalker Tells Marc That He’s Made an Appointment with Some Mental Health Professionals

September 16, 2005

Live from the Elmo Restaurant & Lounge—Marc’s Stalker Appears Medicated, Refreshed, and Ready to Stalk Marc Maron Again

Marc the Shark

(Marc Maron & Kent Jones)

November 11, 2004

First Appearance of Ted in Nebraska and Marc the Shark Manifesting as a Second Personality; Marc the Shark’s Really Excited About Bush’s Second Term—Next Time Democrats Should Run a Real Man as a Candidate…Like Hillary Clinton!

November 18, 2004

President Bush is Remodeling His Cabinet by Getting Rid of the Dead Wood Moderates

November 24, 2004

Marc the Shark Loves Thanksgiving, and Wants to Thank the Indians for Getting the Hell Off of Our Continent

December 2, 2004

Canada is a Country That Was Too Chicken to Go to Iraq and Fight with the Real Men, and Marc the Shark’s Thoughts on the Upcoming Supreme Court Decision About Medical Marijuana

December 9, 2004

Liberals Need Steroids to Play Baseball, and Massachusetts is Going to Have a Pink Christmas

December 14, 2004

Marc the Shark on Bush’s Plans to Privatize Social Security and Putting the Ten Commandments in Public Buildings, and How Liberal Holly-Weirdoes Like Julia Roberts Shouldn’t be Allowed to Have Twins

December 30, 2004

Bill Clinton is Shooting His Mouth Off, Saying Uncle Sam Should Take the Lead in Providing Aid for the So-Called “Tsunami Victims”…He Likes Anything Wet!

January 6, 2005

Marc the Shark’s Excited About the Bush Family’s Involvement in the Tsunami Relief Effort and President Bush’s Attempts at Tort Reform

January 14, 2005

Charles Graner is a Hero for What He Did at Abu Ghraib, and Hollywood Liberals are Scared That the Torrential Storms Will Damage Malibu Barbie’s Dream House

January 21, 2005

The Inauguration was Great, Condoleezza Rice Shot Down Those Liberals on the Foreign Relations Committee, and Iraq Should Just Make Bush Their President Too!

January 28, 2005

Marc the Shark Tears Into Bill O’Reilly (for Stealing His Bit) and Sam Lipsyte (Because He Loves It)

February 4, 2005

Marc the Shark Hates Those Liberal Traitors Who Sat Down During Bush’s State of the Union Speech, and He Believes There Should Be a White History Month…with 31 Days!

February 11, 2005

Bush is Cutting the Pork from the Federal Budget, Like Medicaid and Food Stamps, and Mass Transit is for Loser Liberal Professors Who Teach Kids How to Be Gay

February 25, 2005

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Randi Rhodes Show—France Needs to Shut Its’ Cheese-Eating Hole About the War, and “Pansy” Rhodes is a Typical Liberal Slacker Trying to Get Out of Work

March 4, 2005

Marc the Shark Covers the Oscars, Hillary Skank, and How the Ten Commandments Should be Put Up Everywhere

March 11, 2005

Marc the Shark’s Thoughts on Bubba Clinton Being Back in the Hospital, John Bolton, and How the Minimum Wage Should be Lower—That’s Why It’s Called “Minimum!”

March 18, 2005

Italy’s Pulling Out of Iraq to Join the Coalition of the Whining…Didn’t They Invent the Car Bomb?

April 1, 2005

Marc the Shark on the Anniversary of Error America Radio—the Whole Network’s Like Last Call at the Queer Town Jew Bar!

April 8, 2005

The Judeo-Christian Council for Constructional Restoration Takes Aim on Activist Judges—Say Your Prayers, Judge Pinko!

April 15, 2005

Marc the Shark on Why He Hates Tax Season, and Why Cat Hunting Should be Legal

April 22, 2005

The Neocons are Preparing for Justice Sunday, but for Activist Judges It’s Sunday, Bloody Sunday!

April 29, 2005

Democrats on the Ethics Committee are Busy Trying to Crucify Tom DeLay—What Do Democrats Know About Ethics, Anyway? Also, Marc the Shark Takes a Moment to Reflect on the Images from Abu Ghraib

May 6, 2005

It’s About Time the Neocons Take on PBS—It’s About Time They Clean Out Mister Rogers’ Elitist Neighborhood!

May 13, 2005

The Democrats Want to Save the Filibuster? What’s a Matter, Losers, Nobody Listening to Ya? It’s Not Like Liberals Have Anything to Say!

May 20, 2005

The Democrats are Going to Get Tough on National Security? Stick to Killing What You Know: Fetuses!

May 27, 2005

Marc the Shark Dishes Out Punishment to the Seven Traitorous, So-Called Republicans Who Sold Out to the Democrats Over the Filibuster

June 3, 2005

Live from City Bakery—Deep Throat is a Communist Traitor, and Amnesty International is Absurd for Criticize Us Over the Detention Camp at Guantanamo

June 15, 2005

That Dr. Pinko, Howard Dean, was Right: the Republican Party is a White Christian Party! Also, the Supreme Court was Right to Go After Those Medical Marijuana Potheads

June 24, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Marc the Shark’s Thoughts on the New Hillary Book That Says She’s a Lesbian, Gay Pride Week, and Bill O’Reilly’s Request That Air America Radio’s Hosts Should be Arrested

July 1, 2005

Vegetarian Sissies are Afraid of Eating American Beef Due to Mad Cow—We Should Shove Our Beef Down Their Throats, as Well as the Ungrateful Loser Countries Who Won’t Import It!

July 8, 2005

Live from Vox Pop—Good Riddance to Sandra Day O’Connor, and Karl Rove is a Hero for Outing a CIA Agent—You Step Out of Line, You Get Smacked!

July 15, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—The Democrats are Engaging in Partisan Political Attacks Against American Hero Karl Rove, and Harry Potter Leads to Satanism, Witchcraft, and Late-Term Abortions

July 22, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Marc the Shark Takes Questions from the Audience and Addresses Content Issues Regarding His Show; America Doesn’t Care About Karl Rove Outing a CIA Agent

July 29, 2005

Marc the Shark Takes Some Calls from the Shark Tank—The Democrats Have No Ideas, and With CAFTA We Can Get Mexicans to Build Us Hundreds of Shuttles So We Can Build Gated Communities on the Moon

August 5, 2005

Live from CBGB’s—Bush Bypassing Congress and Appointing John Bolton is Okay Due to His Mandate, and People Should Shut Up About Bush’s Long Vacations

August 12, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—Jeanne Pirro Will Mop Up the Floor with Hillary Clinton in the 2006 New York Senate Race; Marc the Shark Gives His Opinions About Supreme Court Nominee John Roberts and the America Supports You Freedom Walk

August 19, 2005

Live from Amy Ruth’s—Marc the Shark Plays The Weakest Liberal with Members of the Audience

September 9, 2005

Live from the New School—Liberals are Playing the Blame Game on Bush’s Response to Hurricane Katrina, and the Hurricane “Victims” Did Win the Lottery

September 16, 2005

Live from the Elmo Restaurant & Lounge—Bush Didn’t Apologize for the Response to Hurricane Katrina, He Assumed Responsibility; Marc the Shark Reveals His Plans for the French Quarter

September 23, 2005

Live from the XM Studios in Washington, DC—Let’s Tear Down That Socialist FDR Memorial and Build One for Ronald Reagan! Also, Hurricane Rita Won’t Affect Texas Because It’s Not a Pansy-Ass French State, and the New Orleans Refugees Only Went to Texas to Get Twice the Disaster Aid!

September 30, 2005

Congratulations to the Democrats for Indicting the Martyr Tom DeLay—You’ve Finally Managed to Nail Something Besides a Fetus! Also, Marc the Shark’s Plan for Rebuilding New Orleans: Give It Back to the French

October 14, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—The Liberals Have Got Nothing on Us! Karl Rove Could Run the Country from the Moon If He Has To, and Ronnie Earle Will Convict Tom DeLay the Same Day Hillary Clinton Votes to Outlaw Hot, Wet Lesbian Sex with Rosie O’Donnell!

November 3, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—Thank God President Bush Got Rid of Harriet Miers and Nominated a Real Man Like Samuel Alito, and Bush Will Take Care of the Bird Flu Like He Did in Iraq: Shock and Awe!

November 30, 2005

It’s About Time President Bush Got Tough on Illegal Immigrants! Pack Up Your Leaf Blower, Pablo, America’s Closed!

December 16, 2005

On the Final Morning Sedition Broadcast, Marc Maron Humiliates Marc the Shark and Chases Him Out of His Subconscious

April 28, 2006

Marc the Shark Follows Marc Maron to Late Night Radio; He Rants About Earth Day, and How High Gas Prices are Caused by Gay Marriage

May 5, 2006

Marc the Shark Expresses His Disgust Over the Spanish Version of the National Anthem, and Kindly Teaches His Spanish Listeners Some Useful English Phrases

May 12, 2006

We’ve Been So Busy Kicking Iraq’s Ass That We’ve Forgotten to Kick Iran’s Ass, and Hillary Clinton Shouldn’t Bother Sucking Up to the Republicans Because She’s Got No Chance of Becoming President

May 26, 2006

Marc the Shark Rants About How Women are Driving Him Crazy, Including Madonna, the Dixie Chicks, and Joan Baez

June 16, 2006

Everything’s Looking Good in Iraq, Karl Rove is Untouchable, and Ann Coulter is Hot for Taking on Those Skanky 9/11 Widows

June 23, 2006

Marc the Shark Sounds Off on the Proposed Constitutional Amendment to Ban Flag Burning, How John Murtha is Fat, and How That Communist Dan Rather is Finally Leaving CBS

July 14, 2006

Live from Democracy Fest at San Diego State University—On the Final Marc Maron Show Broadcast, Marc the Shark Gets His Revenge on Marc Maron

December 22, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—We Should Send More Soldiers to Iraq, The Republicans Should Take Back the Senate Pronto, and Can You Believe That Barack Obama’s Middle Name is “Hussein?”

May 30, 2008

Marc Maron Guest Hosts American Afternoon—Marc the Shark’s Reaction to That Traitor Dirtbag Numbnuts Scott McClellan and His Stupid Book: “He’s Not a Homo Commie; He’s More of a Commie Homo!”

Monday Job Listings

(Marc Maron & ???)

June 21, 2004

Major Party Presidential Candidate Seeks Running Mate

June 28, 2004

Immediate Opening: Illinois Republican Party Seeking Erection-Free Candidate for U.S. Senate

July 12, 2004

Wanted: New Director for the CIA, New Personal Physician for Vice-President

July 19, 2004

Diet Supplement Seeks New Spokesperson

July 26, 2004

Wanted: National Intelligence Czar

August 2, 2004

Commission Report Tutor Needed

August 9, 2004

Wanted: White House Court Jester

August 23, 2004

Wanted: Religion Advisor

August 30, 2004

GOP Needs TV-Ready Convention Help

September 13, 2004

Sexy New Marketing Positions in Assault Weapons Sales, Trade Show Models

September 20, 2004

Debate Sparring Partners Needed

September 27, 2004

Wanted: New CBS Evening News Anchorman

October 4, 2004

Positions are Still Open in the Field of Election Worker for Afghanistan’s October 9th Presidential Election

October 11, 2004

Prostitutes Needed to Pose for a Series of Discreet Photographs with John Kerry Look-Alike

October 18, 2004

Associate Producer Needed for Major One-Sided Talk Show

October 25, 2004

Manhunter Needed

November 1, 2004

The Republican Party is Looking for People to Assist Potential New Voters to Realize That Maybe They’d be Better Off Just Going Home and Forgetting About This Voting Thing; United States of America Seeks a New Head for Our Executive Branch

November 8, 2004

How Would You Like to Head the PLO?

November 15, 2004

Wanted: U.S. Attorney General

November 19, 2004

The Bush Administration Seeks a Discreet Relationship with an Open-Minded Republican to Run the Department of Energy

November 22, 2004

The CIA is Looking for a New…Everybody!

November 19, 2004

The Democratic Party is Looking for a Leader Who Optimizes What the Democratic Party is Not

December 6, 2004

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations

December 13, 2004

Wanted: National Director of Intelligence

December 27, 2004

Reposting: Secretary of Homeland Security

January 3, 2005

We Need a Punch-Up Specialist!

January 17, 2005

Exciting and Fun Opportunities in Death Squads

January 24, 2005

Poll Workers Needed for Iraqi Election

January 31, 2005

Wanted: Professional Prude, Exotic Interrogators

February 7, 2005

The Catholic Church is Accepting Resumes for a Possible Future Opening in Senior Management

February 14, 2005

Softball Pitcher Needed; See Our Ad Under “Journalism”

February 21, 2005

Wanted: Ornithologist / Gay Deprogrammer, New Ambassador to Iraq

February 28, 2005

Cook Wanted

March 7, 2005

Park City, KS is Looking for a New Municipal Code Compliance Supervisor Who Isn’t a Serial Killer

March 14, 2005

Christ Lutheran Church in Park City, KS is Looking for a Temporary Church Council President Who Isn’t a Serial Killer

March 21, 2005

Wanted: Master of Ceremonies for the Catholic Church’s All-Important Easter Week Ceremonies

March 28, 2005

Republican Party Seeking New Vegetable Mascot

April 4, 2005

U.S. State Seeks New Freak Magnet

April 11, 2005

Needed: Discrete Memo Writer

April 18, 2005

NRA Seeks New President

April 25, 2005

Wanted: Kidnappers in Iraq

May 2, 2005

Wanted: Incompetent Go-Getters for Ethics Investigation

May 9, 2005

Be a Teacher in Kansas…or Just Talk Like One

May 16, 2005

The FDA’s Advisory Committee for Reproductive Health Drugs

May 23, 2005

Wanted: Sensitive Interrogator / Qur’an Handlers

June 6, 2005

Wanted: Teachers for Snowflake Baby Pre-Pre-Pre-School

June 13, 2005

U.S. Army Looking for Middle Age Recruits

June 27, 2005

Mental Health Professionals Needed to Advise Guantanamo Interrogators

July 5, 2005

Needed: Supreme Court Justice

July 11, 2005

Wanted: Journalist / Jailbird

July 18, 2005

Wanted: Mephistopheles

July 25, 2005

Wanted: Rodeo Clown

August 1, 2005

Wanted: Really, Really Good PR Pros

August 8, 2005

Got Job?—Medicinal Beverage Company Seeks Harvesters

August 15, 2005

Wanted: Vacationing President Decoy

September 12, 2005

Well-Connected Crony Sought for Patronage Post

September 19, 2005

Rebuilding Experts Needed

September 26, 2005

Wanted: Discreet Bartender

October 3, 2005

Wanted: Gravy Train Engineer

October 10, 2005

Terrorists Wanted

October 17, 2005

For Your Eyes Only: MI6 Seeks Qualified Agents

October 24, 2005

North Korea Seeks Most Excellent Cinema Directors

October 31, 2005

Supreme Court Nominee

November 8, 2005

Morning Talk Show Host

November 14, 2005

Emergency Services Director for Dover, PA

November 21, 2005

Male Prostitutes—Multiple Positions Available

November 28, 2005

Experienced Liquidators Needed

December 5, 2005

Wanted: Prostitutes in Australia

December 18, 2006

Experienced Radio Professionals Needed by [Re]-Startup Radio Network

Morning Business Report

(Marc Maron & ???)

April 8, 2004

Private Sector Soldiering

April 9, 2004

Gay Wedding Industry

April 13, 2004

New Hyundai Dealership in Iraq

April 14, 2004

Hostaging

April 15, 2004

Air America Radio’s Situation in Chicago, Los Angeles

Morning Sedition Radio Theater

(Mike Ferrucci & Barry Lank)

December 30, 2004

The Shadow Government #1

January 6, 2005

The Shadow Government #2, Plus Reverse Racism Theater

January 13, 2005

The Shadow Government #3, Plus the Comedy Team of Maron and Riley

January 21, 2005

The Shadow Government #4, Plus The Lone Ranger

January 28, 2005

The Shadow Government #5, Plus News Daddy

February 3, 2005

The Shadow Government #6, Plus Marc and Mark as Ventriloquist Act Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy

February 10, 2005

The Shadow Government #7, Plus Dragnet

February 17, 2005

The Shadow Government #8, Plus News Daddy

February 24, 2005

The Shadow Government #9, Plus The War of the Worlds

March 4, 2005

The Shadow Government #10, Plus The World Yet to Come!

March 10, 2005

The Shadow Government #11, Plus Buck Rogers in an Egalitarian Century

March 18, 2005

The Shadow Government #12, Plus You Bet Your Life

March 31, 2005

The Shadow Government #13, Plus Marc Maron, This is Your Life

April 7, 2005

The Shadow Government Recap

April 14, 2005

The Shadow Government #14, Plus Marc Maron, Advice Columnist

April 22, 2005

The Shadow Government #15

May 20, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom Promo #1

May 20, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom Promo #2

May 27, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #1, Plus News Daddy

June 3, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #2, Plus The Marc and Mark Def Poetry Jam

June 9, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #3, Plus Uncle Marc’s Treehouse

June 16, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #4, Plus Marc Maron’s Home Shopping Channel

June 23, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #5

June 30, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #6, Plus Life of Mark Riley

July 14, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #7, Plus Midnight Cowboy

July 21, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #8, Plus America’s Next Top Model Intern

July 28, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #9, Plus News Daddy, Supreme Court Justice

August 4, 2005

Marc Maron and the Temple of Doom #10, Plus A Streetcar Named Desire

August 22, 2005

The L Word

August 25, 2005

Karaoke with Mark Riley and Wayne Gilman

September 1, 2005

The Secret Summit of Morning Sedition Writers, Producers, and Characters

September 8, 2005

The Roast of Marc Maron

September 15, 2005

Make Room for News Daddy

September 22, 2005

Uncle Marc’s Treehouse

September 29, 2005

The Morning Sedition X-Files

October 6, 2005

Marc After Dark

October 11, 2005

News Daddy’s Morning Sedition Promo

October 13, 2005

Marc Maron: Can I Get a Ride Home?

October 27, 2005

Morning Shedition

November 11, 2005

Marc’s Upcoming Shows on Morning Sedition Radio Theater

December 1, 2005

Marc’s Future as the Host of Entertainment Tonight

December 15, 2005

The Return of Marc Maron, Private Eye in “Who Killed Morning Sedition?”

Mourning Remembrance

(Jim Earl)

January 10, 2005

E.R. Hager (Founder of Hagar Slacks Company), Frank Thomas (Disney Animator), and Reed Irvine (Self-Appointed Media Watchdog, Jackass)

January 17, 2005

Gordon Greenfield (QTV Teleprompter Business Executive), H. David Dalquist (Inventor of the Bundt Cake Pan), and Dwight Strong (Conservative)

January 24, 2005

Jay Schulberg (“Got Milk?” Ad Agency Executive) and James Griffin (Founding Member of Bread)

January 31, 2005

Thelma White (Reefer Madness Actress) and Max Velthuijs (Children’s Book Author)

February 7, 2005

Arnold Denker (Dean of American Chess) and Eric Griffiths (Guitarist for the Quarrymen)

February 14, 2005

Horace Hagedorn (Fertilizer Giant) and Vaughn Meader (JFK Mimic)

February 21, 2005

Samuel Alderson (Inventor of Crash Test Dummies) and Lawrence Rawl (Former Exxon Chairman)

February 28, 2005

Robert Kearns (Inventor of Intermittent Wipers) and Owen Allred (Patriarch of Polygamist Group)

March 14, 2005

Jef Raskin (Computer Pioneer) and George Wackenhut (Security Expert, Founder of the Wackenhut Corporation)

March 21, 2005

Nicolas Salgo (Watergate Hotel Developer) and Paul Sawyer (NASCAR Pioneer)

March 28, 2005

Paul Henning (T.V. Producer) and John DeLorean (Auto Innovator)

April 4, 2005

David Bushnell (Founder of Bushnell Binoculars), Frank Perdue (Chicken Magnate), and Pope John Paul II

April 11, 2005

Dalia “Dale” Messick (Creator of Brenda Starr) and Akira Yoshizawa (Origami Artist)

April 18, 2005

Maynard Ramsey (Entomologist) and Paul Perry (Political Statistician)

April 25, 2005

George Molchan (Oscar Meyer Mascot) and Diane Knippers (Conservative Christian Leader)

May 2, 2005

Phillip Morrison (Builder of the First Atomic Bomb) and J.B. Stoner (White Supremacist)

May 9, 2005

Edward von Kloberg III (Public Relations Representative for Dictators) and Ed Schantz (Botox Pioneer)

May 16, 2005

Wilson A. Seibert (Ad Man) and Zhang Chunqiao (Radical Maoist)

May 23, 2005

Paul Keene (Organic Farming Pioneer) and Henry Corden (Voice of Fred Flintstone)

June 6, 2005

Thurl Ravenscroft (Voice of Tony the Tiger) and Arnold “Arnie” Morton (Steakhouse Founder)

June 13, 2005

Josephine Clay Ford (Granddaughter of Henry Ford) and Leslie Smith (Creator of Matchbox Cars)

June 27, 2005

Verne Meisner (Musician Who Championed the Polka) and Jack Kilby (Inventor of the Microchip)

July 11, 2005

Mike Yurosek (Inventor of Baby Carrots) and Shelby Foote (Civil War Historian)

July 18, 2005

Bertram Given (Developer of the Waste King Garbage Disposal) and John Walton (Wal-Mart Heir)

August 1, 2005

Chet Helms (Summer of Love Pioneer) and Gen. William Westmoreland (Vietnam War Commander)

August 9, 2005

Richard Nicholls (Father of the Gilroy Garlic Festival) and Gerry Thomas (Inventor of the TV Dinner)

August 15, 2005

Dan Taylor (Hunter of the Loch Ness Monster) and Pauline Nicholson (Elvis Presley’s Personal Cook)

August 22, 2005

Theodore Shaker (Former Head of Arbitron Ratings) and James Dougherty (Marilyn Monroe’s First Husband)

August 29, 2005

Elwood Perry (Maker of a Fishing Lure) and Robert Moog (Synthesizer Pioneer)

September 19, 2005

Bob Denver (Actor, Role Model, and Gilligan from Gilligan’s Island) and Nell Mondy (Potato Expert)

September 26, 2005

Dr. Daniel Ruge (Ronald Reagan’s White House Physician) and Sid Luft (Judy Garland’s Third Husband)

October 3, 2005

Dr. Leo Sternbach (Creator of Valium) and Jacob Marinsky (Co-Discoverer of Promethium)

October 10, 2005

Nipsey Russell (Comedian, Game Show Panelist) and Albert “Caesar” Tocco (Chicago Mob Boss)

October 17, 2005

Arthur Seldon (Conservative British Economist) and Tobin Armstrong (Texas Cattle Rancher)

October 24, 2005

Ted Peshak (Director of Educational Films) and Gordon Lee (Porky from the Little Rascals)

October 31, 2005

Richard Smalley (Winner of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry) and Len Dressler (Voice of the Jolly Green Giant)

November 14, 2005

Alastair G.W. Cameron (Astrophysicist Who Developed the Giant Impact Theory) and Armand Pierre Fernandez (French-Born Nouveaux Realist Sculptor)

November 21, 2005

Rev. Adrian P. Rogers (Conservative Baptist Leader) and Ralph Edwards (TV Pioneer)

November 28, 2005

John Rice (Celebrity Dwarf) and Ruth Siems (Inventor of Stove Top Stuffing)

December 5, 2005

Michael Evans (Photographer of Ronald Reagan) and Herbert L. Strock (TV Producer and B-Movie Director)

December 12, 2005

Helen Murphy (White House Gift Shop Manager) and Dr. William G. Speed III (Migraine Expert)

February 28, 2006

Rebecca Webb Carranza (Inventor of the Tortilla Chip) and Robert E. Rich (Inventor of Non-Dairy Whipped Topping)

February 28, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #1

March 7, 2006

Mitchell Rupe (Convicted Killer) and Henry Morris (Father of Modern Creationism)

March 15, 2006

Helen Petrauskas (Ford Motors Safety Executive) and Slobodan Milosevic (Successful Banker)

March 15, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #2

Marc Maron Show Promo #3

March 21, 2006

Rosemary Kooiman (Pagan Witch) and Richard Kuklinski (Mafia Killer)

March 28, 2006

Michael Vale (Sleepy Dunkin’ Donuts Mascot) and Hilla Futterman (Botanist, Expert on Preparing Meals from Weeds)

April 4, 2006

Caspar Weinberger (Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of Defense) and Eugene Landy (Brian Wilson’s Therapist)

April 19, 2006

Dr. Helen Ullrich (Nutritionist) and Michael S. Joyce (Conservative)

April 25, 2006

Gen. Samuel W. Koster (Military Officer Charged in the My Lai Massacre) and Edward N. Hall (Father of the Minuteman Missile)

May 2, 2006

Dr. Charles Socarides (Champion of Anti-Gay Therapy) and George Gerbner (Television Researcher)

May 9, 2006

Allan Kaprow (Artist) and Bruce Peterson (The Real Six Million Dollar Man)

May 16, 2006

Pascal Kamar (Toymaker) and Dr. George Lenchner (Prominent Mathematician)

May 23, 2006

Lew Anderson (Clarabell the Clown on Howdy Doody) and Herbert “Ted” Doan (Former President and CEO of Dow Chemical Company)

May 30, 2006

Joyce Ballantyne Brand (Creator of the Coppertone Girl) and Lou Carrol (The Man Who Gave Richard Nixon Checkers the Dog)

June 7, 2006

Albert L. Weimorts (Bomb Designer) and James Conway, Sr. (Founder of Mister Softee)

June 13, 2006

Caleb D. Hammond (Mapmaker) and Flora Gill Jacobs (World’s Authority on Dollhouses)

June 20, 2006

Wesley Hill (Niagara Falls Rescuer) and Margaret Karcher (Wife of the Founder of Carl’s Jr.)

June 27, 2006

Harriet (176-Year-Old Giant Tortoise) and Aaron Spelling (TV Producer)

July 5, 2006

Ken Lay (Math Expert) and Lennie Weinrib (Voice of H.R. Pufnstuf)

July 11, 2006

Lyle Stuart (Controversial Book Publisher) and Sir Peter Smithers (Model for James Bond)

July 12, 2006

Results of the “Smithers Requested His Remains” Joke Contest

October 26, 2006

Spoony Singh (Founder of the Hollywood Wax Museum) and Dorothy Harmsen (Co-Founder of Jolly Rancher Candy Company)

November 6, 2006

Jack E. Scholl (Foot Care Pioneer) and Frank Gasparro (Lincoln Penny Designer)

December 1, 2006

Maurice W. Graham (King of the Hobos) and Bill Larson (Founder of Round Table Pizza)

December 22, 2006

Rose Mattus (Co-Founder of Häagen-Daz) and Joseph Barbera (Social Commentator)

February 15, 2007

Charles Rudolph Walgreen, Jr. (Drugstore King) and Anna Nicole Smith (Estate Advisor)

Palm Pilot

(Marc Maron & ???)

April 8, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 8, 2004

April 9, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 9, 2004

April 12, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 12, 2004

April 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 13, 2004

April 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 14, 2004

April 19, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 19, 2004

April 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 21, 2004

April 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 22, 2004

April 23, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 23, 2004

April 26, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 26, 2004

April 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 27, 2004

April 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 28, 2004

April 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 29, 2004

April 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for April 30, 2004

May 3, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 3, 2004

May 4, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 4, 2004

May 5, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 5, 2004

May 6, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 6, 2004

May 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 7, 2004

May 10, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 10, 2004

May 11, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 11, 2004

May 12, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 12, 2004

May 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 13, 2004

May 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 14, 2004

May 17, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 17, 2004

May 18, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 18, 2004

May 19, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 19, 2004

May 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 21, 2004

May 24, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 24, 2004

May 25, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 25, 2004

May 26, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 26, 2004

May 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 27, 2004

May 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for May 28, 2004

June 1, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 1, 2004

June 2, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 2, 2004

June 3, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 3, 2004

June 4, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 4, 2004

June 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 7, 2004

June 8, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 8, 2004

June 9, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 9, 2004

June 10, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 10, 2004

June 11, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 11, 2004

June 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 14, 2004

June 15, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 15, 2004

June 16, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 16, 2004

June 17, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 17, 2004

June 18, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 18, 2004

June 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 21, 2004

June 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 22, 2004

June 23, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 23, 2004

June 24, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 24, 2004

June 25, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 25, 2004

June 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 28, 2004

June 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 29, 2004

June 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for June 30, 2004

July 2, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 2, 2004

July 6, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 6, 2004

July 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 7, 2004

July 8, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 8, 2004

July 9, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 9, 2004

July 12, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 12, 2004

July 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 13, 2004

July 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 14, 2004

July 15, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 15, 2004

July 16, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 16, 2004

July 19, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 19, 2004

July 20, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 20, 2004

July 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 21, 2004

July 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 22, 2004

July 23, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 23, 2004

July 26, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 26, 2004

July 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 27, 2004

July 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 28, 2004

July 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 29, 2004

July 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for July 30, 2004

August 2, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 2, 2004

August 3, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 3, 2004

August 4, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 4, 2004

August 5, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 5, 2004

August 6, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 6, 2004

August 9, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 9, 2004

August 10, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 10, 2004

August 11, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 11, 2004

August 12, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 12, 2004

August 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 13, 2004

August 23, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 23, 2004

August 24, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 24, 2004

August 25, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 25, 2004

August 26, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 26, 2004

August 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 27, 2004

August 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 30, 2004

August 31, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for August 31, 2004

September 1, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 1, 2004

September 2, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 2, 2004

September 3, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 3, 2004

September 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 7, 2004

September 8, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 8, 2004

September 9, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 9, 2004

September 10, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 10, 2004

September 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 13, 2004

September 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 14, 2004

September 15, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 15, 2004

September 16, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 16, 2004

September 17, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 17, 2004

September 20, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 20, 2004

September 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 21, 2004

September 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 22, 2004

September 23, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 23, 2004

September 24, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 24, 2004

September 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 27, 2004

September 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 28, 2004

September 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 29, 2004

September 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for September 30, 2004

October 1, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 1, 2004

October 4, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 4, 2004

October 5, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 5, 2004

October 6, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 6, 2004

October 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 7, 2004

October 8, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 8, 2004

October 11, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 11, 2004

October 12, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 12, 2004

October 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 13, 2004

October 14, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 14, 2004

October 15, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 15, 2004

October 18, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 18, 2004

October 19, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 19, 2004

October 20, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 20, 2004

October 21, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 21, 2004

October 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 22, 2004

October 25, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 25, 2004

October 26, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 26, 2004

October 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 27, 2004

October 28, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 28, 2004

October 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for October 29, 2004

November 1, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 1, 2004

November 2, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 2, 2004

November 3, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 3, 2004

November 4, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 4, 2004

November 5, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 5, 2004

November 8, 2004

Clarence Thomas’ Palm Pilot for November 8, 2004

November 9, 2004

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for November 9, 2004

November 10, 2004

John Ashcroft’s Palm Pilot for November 10, 2004

November 11, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 11, 2004

November 12, 2004

Yasser Arafat’s Palm Pilot for November 12, 2004

November 15, 2004

Dick Cheney’s Palm Pilot for November 15, 2004

November 16, 2004

Colin Powell’s Palm Pilot for November 16, 2004

November 17, 2004

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for November 17, 2004

November 18, 2004

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for November 18, 2004

November 19, 2004

Bill Clinton’s Palm Pilot for November 19, 2004

November 22, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 22, 2004

November 23, 2004

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for November 23, 2004

November 24, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 24, 2004

November 29, 2004

Karl Rove’s Palm Pilot for November 29, 2004

November 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 30, 2004

December 2, 2004

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for December 2, 2004

December 3, 2004

Carlos Gutierrez’s Palm Pilot for December 3, 2004

December 6, 2004

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for December 6, 2004

December 7, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for December 7, 2004

December 8, 2004

Antonin Scalia’s Palm Pilot for December 8, 2004

December 9, 2004

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for December 9, 2004

December 10, 2004

Colin Powell’s Palm Pilot for December 10, 2004

December 13, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for December 13, 2004

December 14, 2004

Bernie Kerik’s Palm Pilot for December 14, 2004

December 15, 2004

Bernie Kerik’s Palm Pilot for December 15, 2004

December 16, 2004

Bernie Kerik’s Palm Pilot for December 16, 2004

December 17, 2004

Zell Miller’s Palm Pilot for December 17, 2004

December 27, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for December 27, 2004

December 28, 2004

Victor Yushchenko’s Palm Pilot for December 28, 2004

December 29, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for December 29, 2004

December 30, 2004

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for December 30, 2004

January 3, 2005

Colin Powell’s Palm Pilot for January 3, 2005

January 4, 2005

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for January 4, 2005

January 5, 2005

George Bush and Bill Clinton’s Palm Pilots for January 5, 2005

January 6, 2005

Jeb Bush’s Palm Pilot for January 6, 2005

January 7, 2005

Alberto Gonzales’ Palm Pilot for January 7, 2005

January 10, 2005

John Negroponte’s Palm Pilot for January 10, 2005

January 11, 2005

Bill Clinton’s Palm Pilot for January 11, 2005

January 12, 2005

Armstrong Williams’ for January 12, 2005

January 13, 2005

Charles Graner’s Palm Pilot for January 13, 2005

January 14, 2005

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for January 14, 2005

January 17, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for January 17, 2005

January 18, 2005

Michael Gerson’s Palm Pilot for January 18, 2005

January 19, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for January 19, 2005

January 20, 2005

William Rehnquist’s Palm Pilot for January 20, 2005

January 21, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for January 21, 2005

January 24, 2005

Michael Powell’s Palm Pilot for January 24, 2005

January 25, 2005

Donald Rumsfeld’s Palm Pilot for January 25, 2005

January 26, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for January 26, 2005

January 27, 2005

Ayad Allawi’s Palm Pilot for January 27, 2005

January 28, 2005

John Negroponte’s Palm Pilot for January 28, 2005

January 31, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for January 31, 2005

February 1, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 1, 2005

February 2, 2005

Michael Gerson’s Palm Pilot for February 2, 2005

February 3, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 3, 2005

February 4, 2005

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Palm Pilot for February 4, 2005

February 7, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for February 7, 2005

February 8, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 8, 2005

February 9, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for February 9, 2005

February 10, 2005

Karl Rove’s Palm Pilot for February 10, 2005

February 11, 2005

Kim Jong-il’s Palm Pilot for February 11, 2005

February 14, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for February 14, 2005

February 15, 2005

Laura Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 15, 2005

February 16, 2005

Jeff Gannon’s Palm Pilot for February 16, 2005

February 17, 2005

Joe Lieberman’s Palm Pilot for February 17, 2005

February 18, 2005

John Negroponte’s Palm Pilot for February 18, 2005

February 21, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 21, 2005

February 22, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 22, 2005

February 23, 2005

Ibrahim al-Jaafari’s Palm Pilot for February 23, 2005

February 24, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for February 24, 2005

February 25, 2005

Jeff Gannon’s Palm Pilot for February 25, 2005

February 28, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for February 28, 2005

March 1, 2005

Alberto Gonzales’ Palm Pilot for March 1, 2005

March 2, 2005

Frank Luntz’s Palm Pilot for March 2, 2005

March 3, 2005

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for March 3, 2005

March 4, 2005

Antonin Scalia’s Palm Pilot for March 4, 2005

March 7, 2005

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Palm Pilot for March 7, 2005

March 8, 2005

Pope John Paul II’s Palm Pilot for March 8, 2005

March 9, 2005

Bill Clinton’s Palm Pilot for March 9, 2005

March 10, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for March 10, 2005

March 11, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for March 11, 2005

March 14, 2005

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for March 14, 2005

March 15, 2005

Karen Hughes’ Palm Pilot for March 15, 2005

March 16, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for March 16, 2005

March 17, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for March 17, 2005

March 18, 2005

Paul Wolfowitz’s Palm Pilot for March 18, 2005

March 21, 2005

Condoleezza Rice’s Palm Pilot for March 21, 2005

March 22, 2005

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for March 22, 2005

March 23, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for March 23, 2005

March 24, 2005

Paul Wolfowitz’s Palm Pilot for March 24, 2005

March 25, 2005

Dick Cheney’s Palm Pilot for March 25, 2005

March 28, 2005

Jeb Bush’s Palm Pilot for March 28, 2005

March 29, 2005

Tom DeLay’s Palm Pilot for March 29, 2005

November 29, 2005

George W. Bush’s Palm Pilot for November 29, 2005

Pashman’s Rules

(Dan Pashman)

September 1, 2004

Dan Pashman at the RNC, Part One

September 3, 2004

Dan Pashman at the RNC, Part Two

September 30, 2004

A Confederacy of Dunces, the Vote for Change Tour, and Bruce Springsteen

October 4, 2004

His Report from the Vote for Change Tour

October 8, 2004

Sandwich Theory, Philly Cheesesteaks, and Eggs Sheboygan

October 19, 2004

How the Beach Boys are Better Than the Beatles

October 19, 2004

More on the Beach Boys / Beatles Debate

November 19, 2004

Concert Attendance

November 24, 2004

Thanksgiving

December 8, 2004

Boston, the Big Dig, and Iced Coffee

December 15, 2004

Holiday Shopping

December 22, 2004

Gift Giving

December 14, 2005

A Look Back at Pashman’s Rules

Pendejo the Revolutionary

(Tom Johnson)

April 18, 2005

First Call as the Liberal Aggressor; He Tries to Get Marc to Join His Militant Liberal Organization (NAMBLA)

April 25, 2005

Taking on Ann Coulter (BALLS)

May 2, 2005

The Liberal Aggressor Calls from His “Cover Job” at the Paramus Mall Lady Foot Locker (PUDL)

May 10, 2005

Marc Receives an Invitation to a Revolutionary Brunch (GALS)

May 16, 2005

The Recruiting Drive (TEABAG)

May 23, 2005

The Liberal Aggressor’s Organization Experiences Financial Problems (LOAD)

June 10, 2005

Live from the Strand Bookstore—The Liberal Aggressor Becomes Pendejo the Revolutionary (PUTA)

June 16, 2005

Arrested at the Puerto Rican Day Parade

June 24, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Pendejo is Looking for the Perfect Lieutenant…and Love

July 5, 2005

Raven

July 15, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—Pendejo Has Trouble with Cinco Hot Revolutionary Babes

July 25, 2005

Pendejo is Trapped in Cleveland with Wynonna, the Anti-Taxation Road Mama

August 5, 2005

Live from CBGB’s—Pendejo Gives Up on Women, and Decides That He Wants to Be a Musician

August 12, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—Pendejo and Stompers Hit Marc Up for Breakfast

August 30, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo #1

August 31, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo #2

September 9, 2005

Live from the New School—At His Last Appearance, Pendejo Tries to Impress His Sister with His Life as a Revolutionary

Planet Bush with Lawton Smalls

(Kent Jones)

September 30, 2004

First Call—Lawton’s Reaction to the First Presidential Debate: Everything’s Going So Well in Iraq

October 6, 2004

The Vice-Presidential Debate: Dick Cheney Looked So Presidential, and Poor John Edwards is Only Twelve

October 11, 2004

The Second Presidential Debate: Bush Ushered Us Into a New Era of Statesmanship

October 13, 2004

Lawton’s Prediction for the Third Presidential Debate: Bush was Magnificent. Strong. Safe. Good Job.

October 15, 2004

Democrats Have Stolen Every Election Since 1932, and John Kerry is More Liberal Than Ted Kennedy

October 19, 2004

Freedom is on the March, and the Only States That Don’t Support Bush are Manhattan and San Francisco

October 21, 2004

Even If the Terrorists Vaporize Our Beloved Homeland, We’d Still Be Safer and More Secure Than Ever

October 25, 2004

A Bush Supreme Court Would Have a Completely Nonpartisan Approach…to Stamping Out Roe v. Wade

October 27, 2004

Voting for Bush is Committing the Most Wonderful Patriot Act of All, and Voting for Kerry is an Act of Terrorism

October 29, 2004

The Iraqi People Mistook 380 Tons of Missing Explosives as the Ingredients for Candy for Our Troops

November 2, 2004

Election Day—People Can Vote All They Like, but It’s Not Going to Affect the Electoral Process

November 4, 2004

Post-Election—This is a Time for Joyful Gratitude, as Bush Won Over 100% of the Popular and Electoral Vote

November 8, 2004

Electronic Voting Machines are Computerized, and It’s Mathematically Impossible for a Computer to Malfunction

November 10, 2004

We’ve Won the Peace in Iraq, and We Win the War Every Day

November 15, 2004

Bush’s Appointment of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General is Proof That as Long as You’re and American Citizen You Can Achieve Anything…Even If You are an Illegal Alien

November 17, 2004

The People Leaving Bush’s Cabinet are Traitors Who Were Known to Have Minor Disagreements with Him

November 19, 2004

Bill Clinton was Controlled by His Wife, and Owes His Success to Ronald Reagan

November 23, 2004

Homosexuality was Invented in the 1970s, and was Caused by the Jungle Carnality of Disco

November 29, 2004

The Media Exists to Serve the President, and That 112-Year-Old Dan Rather was Frightening the Children

November 30, 2004

Lawton Calls Unfiltered Seeking Donations for the Second Bush Inauguration

December 2, 2004

Bush’s Minority Cabinet Appointments are Proof That the System Works, and That Everyone Has the Same Chance to Succeed

December 6, 2004

Sturch

December 8, 2004

The Only Way to Properly Enjoy Sexual Relations is to Refrain from Having Them

December 10, 2004

Live from the Someday Cafe—Massachusetts is for Tax-Loving, Homo-Hugging, American-Hating, Communist Frenchmen Named Kennedy

December 13, 2004

Public Monuments Displaying the Ten Commandments Prevent Public Gay Sex

December 15, 2004

The New Deal is Old Stealing, and It’s High Time That State-Sponsored Communism Bit the Dust

December 17, 2004

The Assault on Christmas is Unconscionable; Lawton Sings a Hymn to the Sturch

December 27, 2004

Bush is a War-Time President, and Shouldn’t Have to Complicate His Life with Death and Mortality

December 29, 2004

The Sooner Bush’s Judicial Nominations are Approved, the Sooner We Can Start Dismantling the Dead Weight That’s Been Holding Up Our Justice System…Like Lawyers and Juries and Laws

January 3, 2005

Lawton’s New Year Resolutions

January 5, 2005

Tort Reform is About Helping Unprotected Victims, Like Tobacco Companies and the Producers of Asbestos

January 7, 2005

Lawton’s Thoughts on the Bush Administration’s Response to the Tsunami Tragedy

January 11, 2005

Politicians Pay Lip Service to Supporting Independent Journalism, but Bush is Willing to Pay Good Money for It

January 13, 2005

Bush Gets His Scientific Information from Sources Whose Minds Aren’t Clouded by Science

January 18, 2005

Social Security is a Looming Crisis, and Seniors Don’t Need Government Benefits Anymore

January 20, 2005

Ignoreguration Day—Bizarro Planet Bush

January 25, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to Bush’s Inaugural Speech—Bush is Serious About Liberty and Freedom Because He Kept Saying Those Words Over and Over

January 27, 2005

Iraqis Will be Inspired to Vote Because Americans Risk Death Every Time We Go to the Polls

February 1, 2005

Democracy in Iraq Hasn’t Just Arrived, It’s Arrived in Bulk! Plus, Lawton Sings “Proud to Live in a Free Iraq”

February 3, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to the State of the Union Address

February 8, 2005

Howard Dean is a Liberal Frankenstein

February 10, 2005

Lawton Discusses President Bush’s Budget “Adjustments”

February 15, 2005

War with North Korea Would be Like M*A*S*H, and Asia’s Not Going to Be a Real Player in the Future Anyway

February 17, 2005

All Journalists are Like Jeff Gannon

February 18, 2005

From The Randi Rhodes Show—Poor Randi, Killed by Art

February 22, 2005

Bush in Europe; It’s Magnificent How President Bush is Sacrificing Himself to Bring Them Up to Our Level

February 24, 2005

The Sixties are Over, and the Counterculture’s Dead

February 25, 2005

From The Randi Rhodes Show—The Sixties are Over, and the Counterculture’s Dead, Take Two

March 1, 2005

Social Security is the Worst Economic Crisis in American History, and the Great Depression was the Greatest Hoax Ever Perpetrated on the American People

March 3, 2005

The Bush Administration is Pro-Elderly, but Anti-Old

March 8, 2005

Lawton Interprets the Ten Commandments for the Morning Sedition Audience

March 10, 2005

Lawton is Promoted to Planet Bush Bureau Chief, and Prepares to Vacation at a Caribbean Resort

March 22, 2005

While Marc Maron’s on Vacation, Lawton Tries Talking to Mark Riley and Guest Host Mick Foley

March 29, 2005

The Culture of Life Celebrates All Forms of Life, from a Tiny Glob of Unthinking Cells Inside a Woman’s Uterus, to a Great Big Glob of Unthinking Cells Lying in a Florida Hospital Bed

March 31, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to the Air America Radio Documentary Left of the Dial, or “Why Air America Radio Failed”

April 5, 2005

Pope John Paul II and George W. Bush Were Two Peas in a Jesus Pod

April 7, 2005

We’re One Nation Under God, Which Means We’re Over Everybody Else! Number One Forever!

April 12, 2005

Democrats are Waging an Irresponsible Media Campaign Against Poor, Little Old Tom DeLay

April 14, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to the T.V. Movie Revelations—Conservative Thinking is Spreading Into the Liberal Media

April 19, 2005

We Need Us a New Pope

April 21, 2005

When an Experienced Oil Man Like Bush Says We Should Drill in ANWR, That Means Right Now!

April 26, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to Justice Sunday

April 28, 2005

President Bush is Kicking His Presidency Up a Notch…BAM!

May 3, 2005

Since Democrats Used the Ethics Committee to Investigate Poor, Little Old Tom DeLay, the Republicans are Going to Use It to Investigate Some Seriously Crooked Congressional Democrats

May 5, 2005

How are We Supposed to Create a Sturch with Muslims on the Court? Would a Muslim Judge Show Pity on a Poor, Persecuted Fella Like Ken Lay?

May 12, 2005

PBS is a Poo Poo Platter of Liberal Bias

May 20, 2005

Lawton on Bush’s Ability to Prioritize, and How Highways are a Privilege, Not a Right

May 24, 2005

Star Wars: Episode III is a Liberal Disaster, and the Obstructionist Jedi are Your Typical Fancy Pants Elitist

May 31, 2005

For Memorial Day, Lawton Explains Why You’ve Got to Have War

June 3, 2005

Live from City Bakery—Lawton Asks Why People Live in New York, Which is the Gay, Liberal, Godless, Secular Agenda Vomited Out Over a Giant City Grid! It’s Sodom on the Hudson!

June 7, 2005

The Iraqi Insurgents are in Their Last Throes; We Shocked and Awed Them Right on Outta There

June 10, 2005

Live from the Strand Bookstore—Eighteen Miles of Lies!

June 14, 2005

Polls Lawton Took on Himself are Every Bit as Solid as the Biased Surveys from Some Liberal Database

June 21, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to the Downing Street Memo

June 24, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Lawton’s First Time in Brooklyn; His Reactions to Gay Pride Week

June 28, 2005

Karl Rove is a Divider, Not a Uniter…and He’s Hilarious!

July 5, 2005

Lawton Recounts the Fourth of July Festivities on Planet Bush, and Reads from a Special Copy of the Declaration of Independence from Bob Jones University

July 8, 2005

Live from Vox Pop—Lawton Announces That He’s Joined the Truth Tour, and He’s Leaving for Iraq

July 12, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 1—Lawton on the Situation in Iraq…from His Hotel Room

July 13, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 2—Lawton’s Kicked Out of the Compound, and Gets Abducted by Militant Insurgents

July 15, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 3—Lawton Hostage Tape #1

July 19, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 4—Lawton Hostage Tape #2

July 20, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 5—Lawton Hostage Tape #3

July 21, 2005

Lawton in Iraq, Part 6—Lawton Escapes the Militant Insurgents; Returns to the United States

July 22, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Lawton Recounts His Hostage Experience, Tries to Spin His “Escape,” and Wonders Why Nobody Paid His Ransom

July 26, 2005

Harry Potter is a Gateway Drug

August 2, 2005

The Only Reason That Bush is Against Stem Cell Research is Because Its Ultimate Goal is to Clone Him

August 5, 2005

Live from CBGB’s—The Dukes of Hazzard Mocks Southern People and Demeans Southern Culture

August 9, 2005

All Hip People Believe in Intelligent Design, and Evolution is So Platform Shoes and Leisure Suits

August 12, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—Bush’s Long Vacations are a Well-Earned Rest for All the Hard Work He Does

August 16, 2005

Lawton on the America Supports You Freedom Walk

August 19, 2005

Live from Amy Ruth’s—Lawton on Race Relations on Planet Bush…and East Planet Bush

August 22, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo #1

August 23, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo #2

September 6, 2005

Lawton on the Aftermath of Hurricane Katrina—America is So Lucky the Lord Has Blessed Us with Such a Strong, Capable, and Compassionate Leader as George W. Bush

September 9, 2005

Live from the New School—Bush is Easily the Most Progressive President When It Comes to Race

September 13, 2005

You’ve Got to Pick Your Friends, and Give Me Loyalty Every Time! Heck of a Job, Brownie!

September 21, 2005

Lawton Wants to Be Appointed to the Supreme Court

September 23, 2005

Live from the XM Studios in Washington, DC—Marc Helps a Starstruck Lawton Practice Talking to Bush

September 27, 2005

Lawton’s Plan to Fund Katrina Recovery: Eliminate Funding for Public Television, Public Radio, and the National Endowment for the Arts; Get Rid of All the Public Schools, and Put Children Into the Workplace and the Military

October 7, 2005

Live from Maxwell’s—What Attorney Ronnie Earle is Doing to Poor, Little Old Tom DeLay is Pure Evil

October 14, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—Marc Recounts the Conservative Critics of Harriet Miers, and Forces Lawton to Choose Between His Values and His President

October 26, 2005

President Bush is on a Losing Streak and is Cracking Up…and So is Lawton

October 28, 2005

Lawton on the Right’s Smear Campaign Against Patrick Fitzgerald and How Perjury’s a Technicality, Unless It’s About Dirty Sex in the White House with a Fat Intern

November 3, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—In the Wake of Morning Sedition’s Cancellation, Karl Rove Authorizes Lawton to Offer Marc a Lucrative Job Opportunity

November 11, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to Republican Election Defeats, as Well as the Defeat of Schwarzenegger’s Ballot Initiatives

November 18, 2005

Lawton’s Reaction to Bush’s Isolation and Daily Contact with Only Laura Bush, Barbara Bush, Condoleezza Rice, and Karen Hughes—He Has a Strong Feminine Side and Understands Women

December 2, 2005

Lawton on Jerry Falwell’s “Friend or Foe” Christmas Campaign, and Admits That He’s Part Jewish

December 9, 2005

Lawton Lists Reasons for Marc Not to Go to California, and Offers to Let Him Stay at His House on Planet Bush

December 13, 2005

The Liberal Confessional: Lawton Meets Jenna, His Biggest Fan

December 16, 2005

For the Last Morning Sedition Broadcast, Lawton Appears In-Studio to Say Goodbye to Marc and to Share a Highlight Reel of Their Greatest Moments Together

March 2, 2006

First Call to The Marc Maron Show—Lawton Criticizes Brokeback Mountain, and Offers New Listeners a Primer to His Relationship with Marc Maron

March 16, 2006

Americans Shouldn’t Criticize Bush Because Iran is Listening

March 16, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #1

March 22, 2006

President Bush Plus Iraq Equals Optimism, and Liberals are Toxic with Negativity

March 22, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #2

April 6, 2006

Lawton’s Reaction to Tom DeLay Resignation from Congress—Tom DeLay for President!

April 13, 2006

The Bush Administration is Going to Nuke Iran, and Lawton Thinks That It’s Fantastic

April 25, 2006

Lawton on Scott McClellan’s Resignation, and Volunteers to Be the Next White House Press Secretary

May 2, 2006

Gas Prices are Still Pretty Low, and Oil Companies are a Persecuted Minority

May 11, 2006

Lawton Prepares to Give the Commencement Address at Planet Bush High School

May 11, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #3

May 17, 2006

The NSA is Spying on American Citizens Because One Out of Three Americans Works Directly for al-Qaeda; Lawton Requests That the NSA Track All of His Phone Calls (Featuring Marc’s NSA Guy)

May 24, 2006

Lawton on Hurricane Season: “Pat Robertson is My Weather Channel”

June 7, 2006

Lawton’s Reaction to President Bush’s Proposed Amendment to Ban Gay Marriage

June 20, 2006

We’ve Turned the Corner in Iraq, and There’s the Morning Sun! Our Truth is Marching Over Everybody Else!

July 13, 2006

Last Call to The Marc Maron Show—The Future of Planet Bush

September 20, 2006

Alone and Abandoned, Lawton Calls The Sam Seder Show

October 11, 2006

Lawton Calls The Sam Seder Show Again—The Mark Foley Scandal is Bill and Hillary Clinton’s Fault

November 6, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts Springer on the Radio—Democrats are Running the Dirtiest Campaign in the History of the World

November 7, 2006 (1)

Send Out the Clowns: Election 2006 Coverage, Part One—Lawton Meets Rachel Maddow, and Gives His Predictions for the Midterm Elections

November 7, 2006 (2)

Send Out the Clowns: Election 2006 Coverage, Part Two—Lawton Finds Out That the Republicans Lost

December 1, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Lawton Resurfaces After a Three Week Absence Looking Forward to Both Parties Working Side by Side to Create a Bright Future for This Great Country

December 21, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Barack Obama is Part of a Plot by the Ayatollah Khomeini to Bring the Jihad to White Christian America

February 15, 2007

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The [Former] Al Franken Show—Al “Zero Terms, No Mandate” Gore Has About as Much Chance of Being President as Al Franken Has of Being Senator

October 9, 2007

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Rachel Maddow Show—The State Children’s Health Program is an Obscene Entitlement Program, and Millions of Kids Have Written Letters to Bush Thanking Him for Not Giving Them Health Insurance

April 14, 2008

Lawton Calls American Afternoon with Richard Belzer—History is Going to Say “Thank You, Jesus” That We Had George W. “Two Terms, Mandate” Bush for Eight Glorious Years

April 15, 2008

Lawton Calls American Afternoon with Richard Belzer—Make Show Business Pay for the War

April 16, 2008

Lawton Appears In-Studio for American Afternoon with Richard Belzer—Bruce Springsteen and Barack Hussein Obama are Two Peas in an Elitist Pod; Lawton Takes Some Calls from Listeners

May 29, 2008

Marc Maron Guest Hosts American Afternoon—Lawton’s Reaction to Scott McClellan’s Critical Memoir on the Bush Administration: “Zip It, Gossip Girl!”

July 2, 2008

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Thom Hartmann Program—Lawton’s Pick for McCain’s Vice Presidential Candidate: Dick Cheney! “McCain / Cheney: Change Without Change!”

Pollux, the Conspiracy Guy

(Bruce Cherry)

January 10, 2005

The Native Hmong of Southeast Asia Possess an Ability to Accelerate Evolution, and the CIA is Using Hmong Refugees to Jump-Start the Development of Fungi in Wisconsin for Use as a Weapon

January 17, 2005

Scientists are Developing Techniques to Harness Rats and Flies for Spying

January 24, 2005

The Tool-Using Crows of New Caladonia are Being Bred to Launch an Attack from Syracuse, NY, and the Internet is Retarding Human Progress

January 31, 2005

The World is Run by a Secret Cabal of Artisans Who Safeguard Their Secrets in Art

February 7, 2005

Satanists are Hastening the End of the World by Genetically Engineering the Antichrist Using Human, Spider, and Goat DNA

February 28, 2005

The National ID Program is the First Step Towards Mandatory Implanted Biochips, and the Recently-Developed Libido Meter Will Track the Sexual Arousal of Tagged Americans

Product Placement Minute
(Marc Maron & Mark Riley)

July 21, 2005

The Palm Beach Hotel, Eskimo Pies, and Klondike Bars

July 28, 2005

Lions Gate Film’s The Devil’s Rejects, Coleman Northstar Lanterns, and Pepsi Edge

August 3, 2005

Dinty Moore Beef Stew

August 11, 2005

Aquatrim Shower Massager

August 15, 2005

Lamar Seafood

September 7, 2005

Depend Super Plus Absorbency Adult Diapers

September 15, 2005

Moon Volcanic Pumice Stones

September 26, 2005

The Arliss General Day Spa of Staten Island

October 3, 2005

The Joke A Day Internet Subscription Service

October 11, 2005

Dr. Carl Ginsberg and the Digestive Clinic of Hudson Valley

October 18, 2005

Items from the QVC Home Shopping Network

October 25, 2005

JDate

November 2, 2005

The Hells-A-Frenzy 6 Video Game

November 10, 2005

Greenleaf Solution SupgerGel Vomit Absorbent

November 18, 2005

Butterball Turkey

December 5, 2005

Bodies…The Exhibition and Bakers Square Pies

Professor William Chandler

(Jim Earl)

June 21, 2006

On His Harpers Article “Democracy in Transition: How America Learned from Its Ten Greatest Mistakes”

December 20, 2006

On His Book Iraq: Seeds of Division

Rapture Watch with Cardinal Milfington

(Jim Earl)

September 9, 2004

A NASA Space Capsule Bearing Atomic Specimens from Deep Space Crash Lands in Utah, Most Likely at the Beckoning of Some Matronly Polygamous Perverts!

September 16, 2004

MIT Has Built a Miniature Robot That Can Walk on Water…to Mock God! Robots Hate God and Our Way of Life!

September 23, 2004

Deaf Children in Nicaragua Have Developed Their Own Sign Language…Truly a Sign of the Rapture! How Can Children Be Taught the Values of Guilt and Self-Hate Without the Guiding Hand of a Skilled Clergyman?

September 30, 2004

A Spanish Company Has Set Up a Website Where People Who Want to Send an Email After They Die Can Do So for a Price…Their Soul!

October 7, 2004

Earthquakes in Central California and Volcano Eruptions in Washington State Prove That Jesus Doesn’t Like the Perverted San Joaquin Valley or Immigrant Farm Workers!

October 14, 2004

Those Sick Fiends in the U.S. Senate are About to Pass Their Version of House Bill H.R. 10, Which Would Standardize the Process of Issuing Drivers Licenses. Say Goodbye to Jesus, and Say Hello to the Mark of Satan, the One World Order, and the Dutch Telling Us What to Do!

October 21, 2004

The FDA Has Just Approved the Implantation of Computer Chips in People for Medical Purposes…It’s the Mark of Satan!

October 28, 2004

On Election Day, One of Three Great Satans Will Be Elected Head Great Satan! The Result: Global War, Locusts, Hurricanes, and Dry, Cold Weather Creating Evil Static Cling in Your Hair!

November 4, 2004

Holy Crap! Bush is the Devil!

November 11, 2004

Attorney General John Ashcroft Has Resigned. His Mission is Done, and He’s Busy Packing His Bags to Sit at the Throne of God.

November 18, 2004

Some Godless Harlot in Hollywood is Using eBay to Sell a Ten Year-Old Grilled Cheese Sandwich She Claims Bears the Image of the Virgin Mary!

December 3, 2004

Swarms of Locusts are Now Devouring Israel, Egypt, and Palestine; the Invasion is Causing These Countries to Unite Against Insects, Instead of Concentrating on What They Should Be Doing…Killing Each Other!

December 9, 2004

Medicine Will Soon Be Able to Make People Live Up To 1,000 Years…Heresy!

December 16, 2004

Christmas, the Most Pagan of Holidays Not Sanctioned by the Bible!

December 30, 2004

President Bush Just Signed a Bill Requiring the DMV and Department of Transportation to Standardize Drivers Licenses…It’s the Mark of Satan!

December 30, 2004

Rev. Al Sharpton for Rapture Watch!

January 7, 2005

The Indian Ocean Earthquake Caused the Planet to Wobble Off Its Axis, Permanently Accelerating Earth’s Rotation and Shortening the Length of the Average Day…Allowing Jesus to Return Faster!

January 14, 2005

A Giant Iceberg the Size of Long Island is Going to Collide with Antarctica! Plus, the Cardinal Promotes His New Book He’s Just Not That Into You!

January 21, 2005

Crusading American Soldiers Have Inflicted Widespread Destruction on the Ancient City of Babylon!

January 28, 2005

Because of Global Warming, Earth May Have Already Reached the Point of No Return in Terms of Total Climate Disaster!

February 4, 2005

Scientists Around the World are Creating Hybrid Creatures That are Part Human, Part Animal!

February 11, 2005

The University of California is Considering Inserting Barcodes and Radio Frequency Devices in Cadavers…the Mark of Satan!

February 18, 2005

The Pentagon Has Developed a Luciferous $127 Billion Project to Replace Soldiers with Robots!

February 25, 2005

Los Angeles’ Unprecedented Deadly Rainstorms are God’s Powerful Vengeance Against Turn-of-the-Century Craftsman Style Bungalows!

March 4, 2005

A Ford Contour Belonging to a Man in Bismarck, OK Was Stolen Three Times in Six Days…666! Also, Listener (and Sinner) Steven Doyle Critiques the Cardinal’s Vocabulary!

March 18, 2005

The Godless Jew Paul Wolfowitz Has Been Nominated Head of the World Bank…or the Wolfowitz Bank of Gog!

March 25, 2005

A Married Couple in South Dakota is Selling Scented Candles, Which They Claim Bear the Essence of Christ!

April 1, 2005

According to a Report Backed by 1,360 Scientists from 95 Countries, the Human Race is Living Beyond Its Means!

April 8, 2005

The Pope is Dead, and His Death Will Herald the Rise of the False Prophet and the Apocalypse!

April 15, 2005

Next Month a Company in Valencia, CA Will Start Selling a Talking Jesus Doll That Can Recite Biblical Verses When You Push the Button on His Back…Just Like the Real Jesus! This Doll is Clearly the Antichrist!

April 22, 2005

An Oily Salt Stain in the Shape of the Virgin Mary Appeared on an Underpass in Illinois! Plus, the Rev. Barry Lynn for Rapture Watch!

April 29, 2005

Syria Withdrew Its Forces from Lebanon! And, Using the Latest Bible Code Software Version 6.6.5, the Secret Message of the Book of Hosea Can Be Decoded: God Hates Fags!

May 6, 2005

The World's Biggest Ever Religious Theme Park is About to Open on the Ganges River in India, and This Six Flags Over Sodom Means the End of the World!

May 13, 2005

Using Spectral Imagery to Examine 2,000 Year-Old Biblical Fragments, Researchers Have Discovered the Sign of the Beast is Not 666, but 616!

May 20, 2005

The USDA Wants to Put IDs on This Nation’s Livestock by 2009 and, as St. Augustine Himself Found Out, There’s No Fighting Satan’s Temptations Once He Gets His Hands on Your Meat!

May 27, 2005

It is the Official Policy of Saudi Arabia’s Government to Burn, Shred, or Dump Bibles, Crosses, and Other Christian Paraphernalia!

June 3, 2005

Live from City Bakery—Australia is Suffering from one of the Worst Droughts of the Century!

June 10, 2005

Live from the Strand Bookstore—Texas and Louisiana are Sinking Into the Gulf of Mexico, Meaning Houston, Galveston, Brownsville, and Port Arthur are Now Vulnerable to Catastrophic Flooding!

June 17, 2005

The United States Will Soon Require All Passports to Contain Digital Photos and Embedded Biometric Chips…the Mark of the Beast! Plus, Wayne Gilman!

June 24, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—A Colossal Midwestern Earthquake That Two Hundred Years Ago Reversed the Course of the Mississippi River Could Happen Again Soon!

July 1, 2005

Scientists at the Safar Center for Resuscitation Research are Now Able to Revive Dogs That Have Been Clinically Dead for Three Hours!

July 8, 2005

Live from Vox Pop—Scientists in Britain Has Invented a Satellite That Can Stop Your Car from Driving Over the Speed Limit! Soon Your Local DMV Will Be Tracking Your Every Move with Computer Chips!

July 15, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—A Company in Scotland is Now Selling Golf Balls Inscribed with Bible Verses! This is Clearly the Work of Satan Seeking to Put the Mark of the Beast Upon Our Balls!

July 22, 2005

Live from the Tea Lounge—Scientists Have Recorded the Actual Sounds of Last December’s Catastrophic Earthquake in the Indian Ocean Using Underwater Microphones…It’s the Very Scream of Satan!

August 5, 2005

Live from CBGB’s—Twentieth Century Fox is Making a Remake of The Omen, Which They’re Releasing on 06/06/06, and They’re Looking for a Child to Play Damien, Son of Satan! Casting the Part of the Antichrist is a Sign of the Antichrist!

August 19, 2005

Live from Amy Ruth’s—Japanese Researchers Have Invented an Artificial Skin That Will Now Give Robots the Ability to Feel Things…Like Humans!

August 23, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo

August 26, 2005

Giant Frogs are Invading France! Mon Dieu!

September 23, 2005

Live from the XM Studios in Washington, DC—A Medical Clinic in Ohio is Going to Perform the World’s First Face Transplant Using Faces Donated by Dead People!

September 30, 2005

Satanic Nerds at MIT Have Unveiled an Affordable Laptop Computer! They’re Electronic Emissaries of the Dark One!

October 7, 2005

Live from Maxwell’s—Roman Catholic Bishops in Britain are Telling People Not Take Bible Literally!

October 14, 2005

Live from Restaurant Florent—Japan is Going to Require Owners of Dangerous Exotic Pets and Animals to Implant GPS Microchips Into Them So They Can Be Tracked! Satan is Assembling His Remote-Controlled Beast Army to Invade America!

October 28, 2005

The Exxon Mobil Corporation is Spending Half a Billion Dollars to Control Pollution at Its Oil Refineries! How Dare They Touch God’s Work!

November 3, 2005

Live from O’Neill’s Restaurant—Scientists are Going to Fight Bird Flu by Genetically Modifying Chickens, Helping Satan Create His Evil Army of Chicken Robots!

November 11, 2005

A Massive Star is Now Moving at Fantastic Speeds Near the Outer Limits of the Milky Way! Plus, Jim Earl Radio Theatre!

November 18, 2005

Scientists in India Have Unearthed Slime Mold Fossils That Have Been Fused Together in the Godless Fornication for Over 65 Million Years! Plus, Mr. Nibbles!

December 2, 2005

In Sacramento, CA, a Statue of the Virgin Mary is Crying Tears of Blood!

December 7, 2005

A New Species of Carnivorous Mammal Has Been Spotted on the Island of Borneo! This Luciferic Creature is Almost Certainly the Result of Christ’s Anger at Gay People Being Allowed to Celebrate Christmas!

December 14, 2005

A Planetoid 360 Yards Wide Named Asteroid 99942 is Going to Hit the Earth in 30 Years! Plus, Susan Sarandon!

March 3, 2006

The University of Florida is Requiring Employees to Pledge to Have Sex with Their Domestic Partners in Order to Qualify for Health Benefits!

March 3, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #1

March 3, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #2

March 17, 2006

The Image of Jesus Miraculously Appeared in a Plate of Burned Manicotti in Florida, and the Man Who Ate It Says a Chronic Stomach Ailment He’s Had Since Birth Vanished!

March 24, 2006

The Planet Jupiter Has Developed a Second Red Spot!

March 24, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo #3

April 28, 2006

A Student Newspaper at the University of Oregon Publishes Cartoons Showing Jesus Christ Naked with an Erection!

June 23, 2006

It is Now Possible to Build an Invisibility Cloak, Allowing Satan and His Minions to Walk Unnoticed Amongst Our Christian Bedrooms and Nerds to Avoid Beatings by the Cool Kids!

November 6, 2006

The Democrats Will Win the Midterm Elections, Which Will Trigger the Rapture and Cause the Nation to Collapse into Economic Chaos!

December 1, 2006

The United States Will Start Releasing New Dollar Coins, and They’re Moving “In God We Trust” from the Face of the Coin to the Edges!

Sammy the Stem Cell

(Jim Earl)

May 26, 2005

I’m Sacred Life! Tom DeLay Said So!

June 1, 2005

Life is Sacred! You Can’t Kill Me!

June 10, 2005

Hey, I’m Life, and Your Wife Knows It!

June 17, 2005

A Message from the Speck is the Life Ministries; Sammy Kills Tommy the Stem Cell

June 23, 2005

Sammy Answers Hippy Email and Performs His Theme Song

July 14, 2005

I Want to Grow Up to Be Hitler!

August 4, 2005

Sammy the Scientologist

August 12, 2005

Sammy Reacts to a Poll Claiming That Americans Support Stem Cell Research

September 23, 2005

Sammy the Crackhead Stem Cell

October 13, 2005

Sammy and His Jewish Writer

October 20, 2005

The “I Don’t Care” Bell

October 26, 2005

Prussian Blue

November 29, 2005

Jim Earl Radio Theater: Marc Has an Out-of-Body Experience

December 1, 2005

Sammy Meets Tim Robbins

December 15, 2005

The Death of Sammy the Stem Cell

December 15, 2005

Sammy the Stem Cell’s Theme Music

March 1, 2006

Maybe Children Wouldn’t Get So Much Cancer if They Weren’t So Bad!

April 14, 2006

Sammy Reacts to Stem Cell News from Ireland

May 12, 2006

Sammy is at Peace with Stem Cell Research, and Decides That He’s Jesus

May 12, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo

June 12, 2006

I Want to Grow Up to Be Ann Coulter!

July 7, 2006

Sammy Quits The Marc Maron Show, and Gets a Job with Don Imus

Slander Minute with Ted Fields

(Barry Lank)

August 11, 2005

American UN Ambassador John Bolton Has Not Gotten Re-Certified for First Aid in CPR for Six Years, and He’s a Lesbian

August 18, 2005

Political Operative James Tobin Once Got Rid of a Couch by Just Moving Out and Leaving It, and Dick Cheney was Created Using the Same Software Program as Max Headroom

August 23, 2005

Governor Robert Taft is the Great-Grandson of President William Howard Taft, and He Killed a Guy with a Hoe

September 7, 2005

In Addition to Running FEMA, Michael Brown Led the Cincinnati Bengals to a Series of Losing Seasons…and He Punched a Baby

September 16, 2005

Supreme Court Nominee John Roberts Believes That Justices Should Only Play a Limited Role in Government; He Also Ate a Kid and Cut Up Strom Thurmond into Savory Marinated Cubes

September 21, 2005

Former Director of the Office of Procurement Policy David Safavian Stabbed a Hooker to Death…with a Lobster!

September 28, 2005

Republican Senator Bill Frist Died Alone in a Giant Mansion, Uttering the Mysterious Word “Rosebud”

October 5, 2005

Supreme Court Nominee Harriet Miers was the Host of TV’s Late Night with Harriet Miers

October 19, 2005

New York Times Reporter Judith Miller Killed Alexander Hamilton in a Famous Duel in 1804

October 24, 2005

Saddam Hussein Stole at Least $1,000 from His Government’s Budget, and He Killed a Guy

November 1, 2005

Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito Possesses Weapons of Mass Destruction and Poses a Direct Threat to Our National Security

November 9, 2005

When It Was a Teenager, France Had an Affair with Its High School Biology Teacher and Ended Up Having an Abortion

November 16, 2005

The Avian Flu Not Only is Ready to Jump to Humans, but It Has Jumped Several Humans in the New York Waterfront Area, and Stolen Their Wallets and Handbags

November 28, 2005

Marc Maron is Leaving Morning Sedition Because He’s Fallen Off the Wagon

December 9, 2005

Marc Maron and Senator Joe Lieberman Were Involved in a Gay Domestic Abuse Incident in a Washington, DC Motel, and Michael Moore Has Been Exposing Himself Students at the Texas Culinary Academy

December 14, 2005

The Universe is Decaying Because of Liberals, and Mark Riley Has Been Scheming to Get Marc Maron Kicked Off of Morning Sedition

Svetlana the Russian Prostitute

(Iris Bahr)

March 6, 2006

Debut as The Marc Maron Show’s Entertainment Correspondent; Svetlana Reviews the Academy Awards, Brokeback Mountain, and Crash

March 23, 2006

Svetlana Reviews Thank You for Smoking, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Breaking the Waves, and House of Sand and Fog; Reflects on Sex with Orrin Hatch and How Vodka Can Eliminate Armpit Stains

April 6, 2006

Svetlana Maintains That “Rainy Days, Great for BJs,” Reviews Inside Man, and Disses Natalie Portman

April 26, 2006

Svetlana Goes on Her First Date in Years, Reviews Flight 93, and Reflects on Her Torrid Affair with Osama bin Laden

May 9, 2006

Svetlana Attends the Coachella Music Festival with Madonna, and Reviews Mission Impossible III

June 9, 2006

Svetlana Reviews An Inconvenient Truth and The Da Vinci Code, Bashes Ann Coulter, and Considers Becoming More Eco-Friendly

June 21, 2006

Svetlana Reviews Nacho Libre and Talks About World Cup Soccer, Her Days on the College Circuit, and her Relationship with Condoleezza Rice

July 11, 2006

Svetlana Says Goodbye to Marc and The Marc Maron Show; Reviews A Scanner Darkly and Superman Returns; She Talks About World Cup Soccer, Sex with Kim Jong-il, and Middle Eastern Politics

December 1, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Svetlana Returns as Part of Iris Bahr’s Interview for Dai

December 19, 2006

Marc Maron Guest Hosts The Sam Seder Show—Svetlana Returns as a Theater Critic; She Reviews Spring Awakening and Blue Room, and She Disses Nicole Kidman and Wicked

Svetlana’s Social Studies

(Iris Bahr)

June 18, 2007

Knocked Up on Darfur

June 25, 2007

A Mighty Ocean

July 2, 2007

Hamas Express

July 7, 2007

Kurt Anderson’s Interview with Svetlana on Studio 360

July 9, 2007

Lewis “Sicko” Libby

July 16, 2007

Iraqi Nigiri

July 23, 2007

Moishe Potter

July 30, 2007

Tofu Forum

September 10, 2007

Sammy Unplugged

September 17, 2007

General Freebie

September 24, 2007

Power Outtage

October 1, 2007

Safety School

Todd Brad, Policy Analyst

(Jim Earl)

November 9, 2005

The California Special Election Important to Governor Schwarzenegger

November 30, 2005

President Bush’s Immigration Proposals

Tom Cruise

(Mike Leffingwell)

April 25, 2006

Tom Can’t Wait to Promote Mission: Impossib…His Baby Suri

May 8, 2006

Tom is Desperate to Repair His Tarnished Image After Mission: Impossible III Bombed at the Box Office

July 13, 2006

The Reason Why There’s No Photographs of Suri Cruise: She’s Ugly

The War on Brains with Mort Milfington

(Jim Earl)

June 23, 2004

John Kerry Leads the Attack Against Bush’s Evil Axis of Faith-Based Reality

June 30, 2004

Bush Sidesteps a Law Requiring That Weapon Systems Be Tested Before They are Deployed

July 7, 2004

Teachers Decry the Pathetic State of Science Education in America Today

July 14, 2004

Bush Attacks Condoms and Promotes Abstinence at the International AIDS Conference in Bangkok

July 21, 2004

The Bush Camp Releases a Book Thanking President Bush for His Policies

July 28, 2004

A Newly-Signed Bioterrorism Bill Features a Provision That Says Bio-Research Facilities Will Get More Funding by Cutting Funding from Other Bio-Research Facilities

August 4, 2004

President Bush Violates Federal Law to Obstruct Research into Medical Marijuana

August 11, 2004

Laura Bush Comes Out Against Stem Cell Research

August 25, 2004

Pope John Paul II Says That Cloning for Medical Research is an Immoral Act

September 1, 2004

The Republican Platform Backs Bush’s Plan to Stop Funding for Stem Cell Research

September 8, 2004

President Bush Blames Our Suck-Ass Economy on Lawyers and Junk Lawsuits

September 15, 2004

The Biological Society of Washington Publishes a Paper Claiming That All Life was Created by a Spirit in the Sky or Something

September 22, 2004

Americans are Getting Stupider Every Year

September 29, 2004

A New Group Called Scientists and Engineers for Change Show Their Support for John Kerry by Holding a Series of Lectures…Oh My God, We’re Doomed!

October 6, 2004

You Can’t Use Faulty Data to Decide the Fate of Public Schools; Mort Sings

October 13, 2004

A Paper Published by Two Columbia University Experts That Promoted the Power of Prayer to Heal the Sick is Discredited

October 20, 2004

A Book Claiming That the Grand Canyon was Created by Noah’s Flood is Being Sold in National Parks

October 27, 2004

Bush’s College Savings Plan is Designed to Favor Rich Families Over Poor Families

November 3, 2004

Post-Election Day Coverage, or “America, You are an Ass!”

November 10, 2004

Parents Take the Atlanta School Board to Court for Promoting Creationism as Science

November 17, 2004

President Bush Plans to Replace Secretary of Education Rod Paige with Margaret Spellings, a Woman Who Has No Experience Running a School System

November 24, 2004

President Bush Cuts Over $100 Million from the National Science Foundation’s Budget; Mort’s Brother Mitch Milfington Stops by for Thanksgiving

December 7, 2004

The Process Through Which the Government Receives Scientific Advice to Make Critical Decisions is in a State of Crisis, and the Amazing Drinking Bird Toy

December 14, 2004

Compared with Other Nations, American Fifteen-Year-Olds Fall Well Below Average When It Comes to Applying Math Skills to Real-Life Tasks

December 28, 2004

Saudi Arabia and Australia Reject America’s Rejection of the Kyoto Treaty, and a Subtle Allegory Featuring the American Buffalo

January 5, 2005

Kansas’ Supreme Court Rules That It Must Spend More Money on Its Public Schools

January 12, 2005

A School District in Dover, PA Will Be the First One in America Requiring Biology Teachers to Mention…a Bunch of HOO HAA!

January 19, 2005

The Bush Administration Pressures the National Academy of Scientists to Release a Report Raising the Allowable Amount of Rocket Fuel Pollutants in Our Drinking Water to Twenty Times Its Previous Level

January 26, 2005

The White House Eliminates Funding for the Hubble Space Telescope

February 2, 2005

Bush’s 2006 Budget Cuts Include Cuts to College Access Programs for Poor Kids and Veterans

February 9, 2005

Included in Bush’s Budget is the Complete Elimination of an Indispensable Program for the Treatment of People with Traumatic Brain Injuries

February 16, 2005

Bush’s Budget Slashes America’s Lead Hazard Reduction Program by $48 Million

February 23, 2005

The Bush Administration is Stifling the Voice of Science

March 2, 2005

Three Neocon Christian Groups Have Filed Suit to Stop California Stem Cell Research Approved by Voters

March 16, 2005

The Environmental Protection Agency Issues Regulations Increasing the Levels of Mercury Permissible in Air and Water

March 16, 2005

Rev. Barry Lynn for The War on Brains

March 23, 2005

The Republican Congress Rams Through Terri’s Law—Legislation Allowing Terri Schiavo’s Case to Be Reviewed in the Federal Courts

April 6, 2005

The Department of Homeland Security Awards a No-Bid Contract to Mercyhurst College in Erie, PA—Hometown of Tom Ridge, Former Secretary of Homeland Security—to Train Intelligence Personnel

April 13, 2005

Stephen L. Johnson, Acting Administrator of the EPA and Bush Stooge, Cancels the Children’s Environmental Exposure Research Study, Which Would Have Studied the Effects of Pesticides on Infants and Babies

April 20, 2005

The White House’s Own Energy Information Administration Releases a Study Directly Refuting Bush’s Last Remaining Arguments Against Limiting Greenhouse Gases

April 27, 2005

The Laredo, TX School District Files a Lawsuit Over the No Child Left Behind Act, Claiming That the Unfunded Mandate is a Violation of Federal Law

May 4, 2005

Over the Last Few Years the Alaska Christian College—37 Students Strong—Has Received Over $1 Million in Tax Dollars for the Sole Purpose of Teaching Gullible Coeds the Story of Jesus Christ and Br’er Rabbit or Whatever the Hell the Resurrection Story is About

May 11, 2005

The Kansas State Board of Education Holds Hearings to Decide If They Should Take Evolution from Their Stat’s Curriculum and Replace It with the Intellectual Equivalent of Hop on Pop, Plus Jim Earl and the Five W’s (Plus Three!) on the Teachers Strike Downstairs

May 18, 2005

“Bleeding Idiot” Kansas Considers Redefining the Accepted Definition of Science to Include Spiritual Crap, Plus Jim Earl and the Five W’s (Plus Three!) on the Gates Around Washington Square Park

May 25, 2005

Southwestern Regional Director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and Bush Lackey Dale Hall Orders Biologists in His Agency to Not Use Modern Science

June 1, 2005

The Oregon State Senate Rejects a Bill That Would have Made It Legal for Reformed Ex-Prostitutes to Become Teachers

June 8, 2005

Retarded Jerkules Arnold Schwarzenegger Announces That He Wants to Reduce California’s Greenhouse Gas Emissions by 80%...Over the Next Fifty Years!

June 15, 2005

The American Association of University Professors Votes to Censure Three Colleges for Violating the Statement of Principles on Academic Freedom and Tenure

June 22, 2005

According to The New York Times, Phillip Cooney—Chief of Staff for the Council on Environmental Quality—Repeatedly Altered Scientific Government Reports on Global Warm…Hey, is That a Puppy?

June 29, 2005

The Department of Defense Announces Plans to Collect Personal Information on 16 to 18-Year-Olds for an Army Recruitment Database, and Mort Pays Tribute to The Music Man

July 6, 2005

According to the Federal Information Security Oversight Office, Government Secrecy in America Has Reached a Historic High

July 13, 2005

Congressman Arlen Specter Holds a Hearing on Lifting Bush’s Restrictions on Stem Cell Research

July 20, 2005

Republican Congressmen Joe Barton and Ed Whitfield Threaten Scientists to Change Their Findings on Global Warming to Please the Bush Administration

August 3, 2005

Bush Tells Texas Newspapers That Students Should Be Exposed to “Different Ideas”

August 10, 2005

The American Bar Association Fully Accredits the Ava Maria School of Law, a Roman Catholic College Opened by the Founder of Dominos Pizza

August 17, 2005

The White House Rebukes the National Science Board’s Recommendation That a Special Commission Be Set Up to Improve Science Education

August 24, 2005

Connecticut Sues Over the Illegal, Unfunded Mandate That is No Child Left Behind

August 24, 2005

Morning Sedition Promo

September 21, 2005

The Justice Department Tries to Find a Way to Blame Environmentalists for the Flooding in New Orleans

September 28, 2005

Facing Fuel Shortages, Georgia and Kentucky Close Their Schools

October 5, 2005

Harriet Miers, a Corporate Lawyer with No Judicial Experience, is Chosen for the Supreme Court by President Bush, a Corporate Whore with No Presidential Experience

October 19, 2005

A Lehigh University Professor Testifies in Court Against Evolution and in Favor of Intelligent Design, and Jim’s Looking for an Apartment in the Park Slope Area

November 2, 2005

According to the American Association of Community Colleges, the Department of Homeland Security is Not Supplying Enough Funds to Train Our First Responders

November 16, 2005

Jim Earl Radio Theater: Sammy the Stem Cell Kills Mort Milfington and Takes Over The War on Brains

December 13, 2005

…and Curtain!

March 9, 2006

President Bush Calls for the Training and Recruitment of 100,000 Math and Science Professionals to Help Out in School Classrooms, but Cuts $12.7 Billion from the Education Budget

March 9, 2006

Marc Maron Show Promo

April 10, 2006

In a Heinous Violation of the Separation of Church and State, Georgia is About to Become the First State to Use the Bible as a Textbook in Public Schools

May 26, 2006

According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, America’s Aging Fleet of 505,000 School Buses are the Dirtiest Vehicles on the Road

June 30, 2006

The Republican-Controlled House of Representatives Moves to Life the Ban on Off-Shore Oil Drilling

Wheel of Anger

(Jim Earl)

March 9, 2006

Fred Phelps, the Westboro Baptist Church, and Christianity

March 16, 2006

Old People Feeding the Birds Wonderbread

March 23, 2006

The Birth Rate

March 30, 2006

Parking

April 5, 2006

Fat Babies

April 12, 2006

Passover, Laurie David and Global Warming

April 21, 2006

Time

April 27, 2006

People Who Drive While Talking on Their Cellphones

May 5, 2006

Why Isn’t Dick Cheney Dead Yet?

May 11, 2006

Singing the National Anthem in Spanish

May 22, 2006

The 9/11 Memorial, John McCain, and Chinese-Made Trowels

June 2, 2006

Smokers, Humvees, and Albuquerque Diaper Headsman Connector

June 8, 2006

Car Alarms, Aimee Semple McPherson and the Foursquare Gospel Church

June 22, 2006

The War on Drugs and America’s Got Talent

June 29, 2006

Modern Art; Jim Plagiarizes Andy Rooney’s 60 Minutes Commentary

July 6, 2006

Cat Vomit and the DMV

July 12, 2006

Jim’s Ass

William from Chappaqua / Bill from Harlem

(Kent Jones & Brendan McDonald)

April 13, 2004

William from Chappaqua Calls Morning Sedition, and Reads an Excerpt from His Book My Life

April 14, 2004

William Calls Morning Sedition Again, and Reads the Same Excerpt from His Book

April 27, 2004

William from Chappaqua Calls to Read Another Excerpt from His Book, and Gets Interrupted by Bill from Harlem; They Explain Their Unique Relationship

April 28, 2004

William and Bill Discuss Their Book Tour, Breakfast, Hillary, and Their Plans for the Day

May 4, 2004

William and Bill Talk About George W. Bush’s “Yes, America Can” Bus Tour and Their Relationship with Hillary

May 5, 2004

William’s Keeping Late Hours to Finish Their Book While Bill’s Out Having Fun

May 12, 2004

William Finishes the Book, and Bill’s Ready to Party

May 13, 2004

William’s Ready to Get Out of “Writer’s Jail,” and Bill’s Ready to Pick Him Up

May 21, 2004

William Prepares to Give a Speech at the Robert J. Dole Institute of Politics at the University of Kansas, and Bill Prepares to Check Out All of the Sororities

May 24, 2004

William and Bill Respond to the Story That Hillary Helped with the Fact-Checking for Their Book

May 25, 2004

William is Lonely Up in Chappaqua, and Bill’s Taking the Time to Check Out the “Emerging Talent”

May 28, 2004

William and Bill Look for an Apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, Which is Close to the Intelligent, Progressive Community…and Columbia University

June 4, 2004

William Checks in from the Book Tour, and Bill Checks in from the Barbra Streisand Compound

June 9, 2004

William and Bill Respond to Not Being Asked to Speak at Ronald Reagan’s Funeral

June 14, 2004

William and Bill Prepare to Visit the White House for the Unveiling of Their Official Portrait

June 18, 2004

William and Bill Discuss Their Marriage and Their Upcoming 60 Minutes Appearance

June 21, 2004

William and Bill on Their 60 Minutes Appearance, and How They Spent Most of Their Time to Sell Their Book

June 22, 2004

William and Bill Respond to the Negative Reviews for Their Book and Monica Lewinsky

July 15, 2004

William and Bill Respond to the Story That Jenna Bush Will Be Teaching in Harlem

July 26, 2004

William and Bill Call from the Democratic National Convention in Boston—William’s Writing His Speech, and Bill’s Preparing His Lines for the College Girls

July 27, 2004

Morning Sedition Intern Jesse Encounters Bill from Harlem While Covering the DNC in Boston…from New York City

September 7, 2004

William from Chappaqua Returns Following Open Heart Surgery, but Bill from Harlem May Cause Them to Flatline

Other

April 20, 2005

A Secret Recording of the Papal Conclave of 2005 Electing the New Pope!